rupture and repair Archives - Wholesome Badass

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” — Winston Churchill A reflection on appeasement as a survival strategy within coercive, high-control relationships and family systems.

Healing From Narcissistic Family Systems

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:February 20, 2026
Post category:coercive control Family Divider Family Dynamics The Scapegoat's Perspective Trauma

I’ve been reflecting on how, in my family—and unironically, in the family of the man I had children with—belonging was not rooted in mutual care, nuance, or individuality. It was…

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” — James Baldwin

The Limits of One-Sided Repair

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:February 19, 2026
Post category:Family Dynamics The Scapegoat's Perspective Trauma

Letting Go Each day, I live with the ache that I may not see my children again. We may not have another real conversation or moment of closeness. That may…

The presence of a scapegoat reveals what others refuse to face.

The War They Wanted: A Story of Estrangement

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:February 8, 2026
Post category:coercive control dirty secrets Family Dynamics The Scapegoat's Perspective Trauma

My sons learned, by design, to have zero tolerance for their mother. Ordinary acts of parenting—direction, correction, consequences, even simple questions—were rejected and reframed as manipulation or control. I once…

Abuse is often framed as a 'loss of control,' but true loss of control doesn't have an audience. If someone is only abusive when there are no witnesses, they aren't losing control—they are exercising it. This selectivity is the clearest evidence that the behavior is a choice, not a mistake.

Beyond Conflict: Identifying the Patterns of Coercive Control in Family Dynamics

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:February 6, 2026
Post category:coercive control Family Dynamics The Scapegoat's Perspective Trauma

Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behavior used to dominate another person and strip away their sense of autonomy. It is not defined by a single violent event, but by…