Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

Letter to Mother and Sister

I will assume your silence means you need more space at this time.  I look forward to a time where we may each communicate openly and kindly.  I would like to try, when we are all ready.  My willingness to heal and recover any level of trust and connection remains.  I can be patient and without being oblivious to the reality of the ticking clock and the passing days which feel daunting, and change nothing.
I hope you are all well and hope that I will be notified otherwise.
M(and the boys):  WE are here.
This is pretty standard content for my emails.  The standard response is silence or condemnation.  I send these emails to affirm for myself that if my mother passes without further or healed contact and connection with me, it is absolutely not due to a lack of effort or willingness from my end.  Acceptance.  Acceptance.  Acceptance.  My sister’s shaming character assassination, uncontested by cc-d  family members, in addition to  my ex’s family, following her dinner which was kept secret from me, is something I forgive but do not accept as something that is ok or deserved.  Neutrality at this point is not an option.  Any effort will either de-escalate or intensify the situation.  My mother is recovering from health issues at age 84 and I moved cross country 2 years ago to be here-for her.  I still want that, free from abuse and shaming.
Acceptance is for badasses and totally wholesome.  I re-commit by the minute to the acceptance of the fact that I am powerless to make things be different.  These are my most wholesome efforts.  It is my belief that what has passed between us demands an honest reckoning.  I will wait.  ♥
Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram by clicking the pic- Wholesomebadass.

Author: Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am new to the experiences of faith and hope and courage, qualities absent for me in proximity to my family. No Contact has been the way to keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

4 Comments on “Letter to Mother and Sister

  1. Ok, I think it is clear where your family stands–perhaps it is time to plan your move back to the West Coast
    Let it go. Let them go.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *