I will assume your silence means you need more space at this time. I look forward to a time where we may each communicate openly and kindly. I would like to try, when we are all ready. My willingness to heal and recover any level of trust and connection remains. I can be patient and without being oblivious to the reality of the ticking clock and the passing days which feel daunting, and change nothing.I hope you are all well and hope that I will be notified otherwise.Always,M(and the boys): WE are here.
This is pretty standard content for my emails. The standard response is silence or condemnation. I send these emails to affirm for myself that if my mother passes without further or healed contact and connection with me, it is absolutely not due to a lack of effort or willingness from my end. Acceptance. Acceptance. Acceptance. My sister’s shaming character assassination, uncontested by cc-d family members, in addition to my ex’s family, following her dinner which was kept secret from me, is something I forgive but do not accept as something that is ok or deserved. Neutrality at this point is not an option. Any effort will either de-escalate or intensify the situation. My mother is recovering from health issues at age 84 and I moved cross country 2 years ago to be here-for her. I still want that, free from abuse and shaming.
Acceptance is for badasses and totally wholesome. I re-commit by the minute to the acceptance of the fact that I am powerless to make things be different. These are my most wholesome efforts. It is my belief that what has passed between us demands an honest reckoning. I will wait. ♥Much Love,
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