I’ve been thinking lately about life in survival mode, how it prevented me from setting and working toward/achieving goals. And turns out: Goal achievement plays a large part in mental health and wellness. So, that adds right tf up. The only thing I’ve ever intentionally and consistently worked at and became skillful at, may be my more elevated response to (people) things which have been harmful.
With recovery principles, I no longer allow moods or feelings to justify hurtful choices or reactions, not by me and not by others. I am so fkn proud of my understanding that the intention or reason behind a behavior does not mitigate its negative impact. This shift, so far from what I had been trained to believe about accountability, connection, and goodness, is freaking miraculous.
So basically, my self esteem is at its highest, after someone has hurt me and I have exercised recovery principles over reactive defense or retaliation. And, while it is rewarding, it, in no way, elevates the overall quality of life or hope for a future in which I feel more inspired than exhausted.
As I observe continued (justified) acts of terror by inidviduals and groups, I feel wrecked by what seems an aboslute impossiblity for a shared vision and plan for peace, with any faction dedicated to “their own rightness, winning, and claiming that to which they feel entitled”. There is a heaviness in my soul, over the growing practice of tactical labelling / designating a person or group of people, so as to demonize/dehumanize and license abuse/marginaliztion, and eradication. I know it starts at home, but when and where does it end?
Why must Earth life be so difficult?!?
Much Love,Magda Gee
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