What Is Your Problem, Anyway?

I loathe everything about you. But please don’t leave before I banish you. And then– you will wait faithfully until your return is requested. Oh- And lighten the fuck up. Ok?

 

In this dynamic, I must stalk God like my life depends on it.  Because it does!

Stalking God is especially Badass and totally wholesome.  100%

Much Love,
Magda Gee

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I Love Jesus

Shane Claiborne’s amazing passage on “a third way”  feels as inspiring as it does devastating. I am facing but not yet fully accepting the reality- that healing and connection are not values shared by my family of origin (FOO).   Awareness without acceptance is hell 100% .   Continue reading “I Love Jesus”

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

When Someone Shows You Who They Are

I have survived a lifetime of participation in my own neglect and rejection (and of course this behavior, when it was all I knew, is what I brought into the world).  
With recovery, came a whole new set of tools. Spiritual Recovery teaches me that I have choices and responsibilities. Self-care falls into each of those categories. After having fled from my mother and sister 26 years ago, with zero intent for even a return visit, upon receiving news of my 84 year old mother’s cancer, I promptly relocated cross country to be of service to her, knowingly accepting risk of proximity to a raging and crafty sister was a price I braved, so that my mother could have the blessing of knowing her grandsons. And grand, they fucken are. I treasured the insulation of 2500 miles between  my family of origin (FOO) and US.

No good deed goes unpunished. I am proud of the choice I made, unsurprised by the continued dynamic. The only thing that has changed is me and nobody is pounding me on the back for my unwillingness to hold post as scapegoat. Unwilling to be co-erced or to engage in having my boundaries challenged, they do not know what to do with me.   So they do as they always have. And I detach.  If they had the awareness and the courage, they would more directly say to me “Fuck you for going off script. Who do you think you are?”

I am a child of God and a mother of two beautiful boys. I don’t believe we have met before.

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

Let’s Roll-Grappling On and Off the Mats

I am missing the relief from my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes cancelled in honor of the holiday weekend. What happens in there is pure magic. The energy exchange is like nothing else I know. My need to roll today- is intense.  The commitment to honor and humility on those mats is something close to♥ god and religion, for someone like me.   Continue reading “Let’s Roll-Grappling On and Off the Mats”

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

Shaming and Blaming–Not Welcome Here

I think I do an okay job many days of being faithful and kind and fiercely loyal and protective of my relationships with my sons, which is to to say that sometimes I don’t just lose my shit completely.  I always always own when I have reacted poorly and assure them that they in no way ever deserve to be screamed at or spoken to as if they are bad or unworthy.  Sadly, their innocence may get compromised when I have to explain that I am working hard to unlearn things that were practiced in my home, things I experienced daily and then took out into the world.  Yelling, accusing, blaming, shaming, (fortunately shunning never became a practice of mine(with them))  I am learning kinder ways of being in the world right along side them.  Motherhood teaches and requires me to learn all that I have been desperate to know and to feel.  God bless, my sons for having to teach both parents so much. If they maintain their #selflove and #brotherlylove and #loyalty ?, then I have done my job, not perfectly but with  total success.   They belong to each other.  God entrusted them to me for however long we have.  They are not my property or my belongings.  We are family.  We love each other….love the verb.  We share the values of kindness, loyalty, humility, authenticity.  We stick close to those who are similar in principals.  I am not just their mother, I am their greatest fan and supporter.

 

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

Kindness Can Not Be Legislated–BUT Unkindness Can

On my morning drive, I am typically intentional to not hear news or information, only music or a book on Audible.  Today I managed to catch the tail end of the latest on the question of the ACC being hosted in NC.  I am grateful for those with the voices and the ability to pull money making events from our state in support of anti-discrimination measures.

As I think of HB2, I find myself feeling very judgmental and resentful of those who helped Trump purchase his seat in the oval office.  Each time I think I am at a place of “It is what it is”. I find that I cannot accept any person or group of people trying to diminish another group.  It is the same group, I suspect who has active disinterest in gun control.

And here is my very uninformed and strong opinion.  It all comes down to support and awareness for mental health and wellness.  Hurt people hurt people and no matter how they get their guns or which restrooms they use, those wired for oppressing, exploiting, harming others will do so.  I feel again sickened by those who want to legislate limited resource accessibility, to those in need and who are actively underserved and then judged for failure to thrive.

When oh when will we address this?  I guess when the prison system stops being a highly lucrative industry.  This makes me sad and even more tired.  But it felt good for a moment to have a new host for my frustrations, other than my family of origin.

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/