McDonald’s Drive Through at 3:05 p.m.
Attendant: Welcome to McDonalds. What can I get for you today?
Me: Hi, May I please have a Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken?
Attendant: I am sorry ma’am. We are not serving salads at this time.
Me: Um..Okay….is that becaaaaaause it is not salad time?
Agitated Attendant: Yes. It is not Salad-time.
Me: Um well, can you tell me the salad-time schedule?
Hostile Attendant: Ma’am, we do not have any salads at this time.
Me, Feeling like whistleblowing asshole with my tail between my legs: Oh. Ok. May I get a plain chicken sandwich and a Diet Dr. Pepper?
What the hell is going on? Why is it so difficult to be direct? Was I supposed to just be all: “Oh ok, I will have a big mac and fries then.”? In my much needed defense, it was necessary to know if maybe they were in salad making process and I should return in a bit. I seriously feel as if I were hassling her by pushing the salad envelope– same crazy dynamic with my family. Just show up,nod, smile, and say Okay. Do not ask questions. Do not seek truth. Be small.
Why not just say: “We are out of salad”? WHY?! Thank gawd I have God, or I might have had to enlighten her, tell her all about herself. The thing I dislike more than than meanness is dishonesty, in the form of needless complexity….what a waste of energy. Would you have ordered something else or tried to understand the truth of “salad-time”? I am officially re-naming the dynamic “salad-time”- when a person is deliberately and unnecessarily vague and deceptive. Eff salad-time! Is there anyone in your life, who you have “salad-time” with? How do you manage without losing your mind?
Eff needless complexity… Forever. Always. Please. Gaaaah.