Welcome to McDonalds

McDonald’s Drive Through at 3:05 p.m.

Attendant:  Welcome to McDonalds.  What can I get for you today?

Me:  Hi, May I please have a Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken?

Attendant:  I am sorry ma’am.  We are not serving salads at this time.

Me:  Um..Okay….is that becaaaaaause it is not salad time?

Agitated Attendant:  Yes.  It is not Salad-time.

Me:  Um well, can you tell me the salad-time schedule?

Hostile Attendant:  Ma’am, we do not have any salads at this time.

Me, Feeling like whistleblowing asshole with my tail between my legs:  Oh.  Ok.  May I get a plain chicken sandwich and a Diet Dr. Pepper?

Attendant:  Click

What the hell is going on?  Why is it so difficult to be direct?  Was I supposed to just be all:  “Oh ok, I will have a big mac and fries then.”?  In my much needed defense, it was necessary to know if maybe they were in salad making process and I should return in a bit.  I seriously feel as if I were hassling her by pushing the salad envelope–  same crazy dynamic with my family.  Just show up,nod, smile, and say Okay.   Do not ask questions.  Do not seek truth.  Be small.  

Why not just say:  “We are out of salad”?  WHY?!  Thank gawd I have God, or I might have had to enlighten her, tell her all about herself.  The thing I dislike more than than meanness is dishonesty, in the form of needless complexity….what a waste of energy.  Would you have ordered something else or tried to understand the truth of “salad-time”?  I am officially re-naming the dynamic “salad-time”- when a person is deliberately and unnecessarily vague and deceptive.  Eff salad-time!  Is there anyone in your life, who you have “salad-time” with?  How do  you manage without losing your mind?

Eff needless complexity… Forever. Always. Please.  Gaaaah.


Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram- wholesomebadass https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

2 Replies to “Welcome to McDonalds”

  1. Gaaaaah! indeed. I haven’t run into that particular form of social torture in a long time. I get confrontive or so stupidly confused that they usually either retreat physically or give in and, stupidly confused, tell me when Salad-time IS or WILL BE, or where they are now in the Salad Development Process.
    If they are really good at their job, though, they will find creative ways to avoid giving any information about Salad-time, Salads, time, or anything else.
    That’s when I decide where to go for lunch or a substitute for tea-time. Or will they be the same about Tea-time?

    Your empathetic friend,

    1. Yes—where they are in the Salad Development Process(SDP), Must know, in order that I make an informed decision before proceeding.
      God bless you. Thank you for getting it. There is no better message than ME TOO.
      That is what the world needs more of. More You. More Me too!
      Connection and NO Needless Complexity!

      Magda Gee

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