I am feeling especially aware and grateful for my own acceptance of my deep core truth that I often need to do nothing, absolutely nothing. Not listening, talking, momming, cleaning, working for money, reading, trolling the internet or doing yard/house work. Just BEING. It is not lazy, it may be depression at times and that is ok and it may be recovery at other times. Either way, it is what I need. Eff anybody who must object or judge. Thank gawd for the people in my life who cannot relate, AND still totally respect and appreciate me, as I am, for who I am. Not tolerance but love. Love is a verb.
Greg and I differ politically, which is tricky during this brutally polarizing time. I want to be able to share with him the intensity of my feelings and reactions to what is being done to people in the name of god, law, patriotism, racism, whatever. I cannot. He knows how I feel and I know how he feels. How we feel for each other is more important than these things. We love each other and have drastically opposing views about how people and polices should be. It is amazing to me that THIS can be true and real in MY life.
I was not raised to believe in and count on this sort of love. We don’t have to agree, pretend, fight, or resent. Those are not the only options. Miracles of recovery continue. ♥ So grateful to experience and to model this for my children. Love and kindness are not hinged to anything other than our choice to behave in these ways. We are human and, of course, and do suck some of the time…and that is ok also. Because we are learning to own and amend our unfortunate behaviors when they get the best of us. Promptly and sincerely.
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