The Anatomy of Trust

After posting the image to IG, I was reminded of the Brene Brown Video called the Anatomy of Trust. She makes it clear to see what trust does and looks like. I can not get enough affirmation for how I experienced my family and the effects it had on me, the lack of safety and trust—-I am working hard, swimming upstream so that I may offer my boys a safer experience than what I had. Below are some items I want to share for my readers and one day my sons.

Brene’s BRAVING acronym helps us to build self-trust and understand how self-trust is essential in building meaningful connections so that we can show up for ourselves and for our classroom community. Boundaries – What’s okay and what’s not okay. Reliability – You do what you say you’ll do. Accountability – You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends. Vault – You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. Integrity – You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them. Nonjudgment – I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. Generosity – You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others. ***By these measures, my only option is to maintain distance from those who repeatedly and righteously live in ways that disregard these Principles.

Trust is defined as choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions. When you trust someone, what you make vulnerable can range from concrete things such as money, a job, a promotion, or a particular goal, to less tangible things like a belief you hold, a cherished way of doing things, your “good name,” or even your sense of happiness and well being. Whatever you choose to make vulnerable to the other’s actions, you do so because you believe their actions will support it or, at the very least, will not harm it.  ***In my case, it was my children I made vulnerable.

Distrust is– what I’ve shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you.

I am a work in progress. The continual unlearning. And the Learning and Practicing BRAVING, in all of my relationships— limiting personal relations, to only those who share these values. What a miracle to know better, do better, live better, love better.