Covid and the Narcissist

While I absolutely do not want another Pandemic shut down, I do experience some smug schadenfreude feelings about what THE SHUT DOWN does to narcissistic types.  Particularly those who refuse to adhere to safety precautions and mandates, while simultaneously hating the disruption to their lives, the most.  Additionally, I confess to feeling pleased by the idea of what shutdown does to folks with insatiable appetites for affirmation. (I believe this is reffered to as narcissistic supply).

Without daily contact with people to impress, manipulate, dominate, or diminish, narcissitic types must be super uncomf—and this feels gratifying.  Not proud of this, just aware and sharing.

My mother’s upcoming birthday triggers all sorts of feelings and flashbacks of pain and harm caused by what appear to be narcissistic behaviors.  While I acknowledge my inability to diagnose NPD, I am able to identify (and harshly judge, obvi) narcissistic actions, attitudes and patterns.  And to be clear, I learned what I lived. I emulated that shit on many occasions.

One trait/need which stands out (to me) is a need to always present themselves as EITHER the victim or the hero.  Always.  Completely void of any sense of legitimate and grounded accountability-  incessant efforts to extract summon praise and pity—unrelenting dedicated efforts to control what others think and feel.

I hate what the shut down does to those who lose income and the children missing school and of course, those whose health and lives are directly threatened.  But I am utterly delighted to think if what it does to the NPD-types.  #sorrynotsorry

Also, while I appreciated less traffic & people in general, it was not easy having two teenage boys to quarantine with. But I cannot deny that it was extremely beneficial for our family in this home. We will take it one day at a time. It is what it is. But also, please— all kids need to go TF to school already(safely, of course). Just saying.

Much Love,
Magda Gee

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