Tension persists as my boys’ father, actively defies our legally binding custodial settlement. Feeling even more above the law, now cozy with my sister(married to a judge). My ex’s continued withholding information regarding changes by him for plans with our boys during my scheduled time, as well as relevant health information is hostile. He seems hungry for a reaction, a lecture, or snarky comment by me. Not happening. I may however, say, in front of our children, 
“Hey, when making plans for the boys during their week with me, please talk to me about it first. ” #kthanksbye. The reason for saying it in front of them is so they may witness that what I say about him is what I will say to him, alignment of my words, actions, and principles!!! This is recovery and progress for which I feel immensely proud. From what I have read, the abuse that follows having a clear and sane boundary is standard reaction by those affected with NPD and untreated addiction issues. In my FOO and marriage, making a clear request or statement of my limits was always the beginning of a cold war. (more…)
… after having grown up being told people cause other people’s bad behavior…but not their good behavior. My recovery teaches me otherwise and this quote perfectly reflects recent encounters and connections I have had with people whom I was unkind to…before I knew better. ((( Before learning healthy ways of working through difficult feelings and managing myself– rather than wasting my efforts and will to become worthy of