triangulation Archives - Page 21 of 21

Letter to Mom

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:December 27, 2016
Post category:Acceptance Faith Intimacy Self-Love Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

Dear Mom,

I have confidence that you will find countless, possibly un or subconscious ways to reject me, put me in my place before you are finished with me. I find your support of my sister’s abuse from my earliest memories to be unforgivable. You want peace, maybe a single effort or word, authentically suggestive of healing would be a start. You denied me a loving and safe childhood and now knowingly behave in ways that diminish my serenity as an adult. If your passing, is the only thing to prevent you from harming me further, well that is a devastating truth. I will no longer allow you to cherry pick from my life- denying and attacking the parts you don’t favor and grabbing righteously at the parts that please you. “Low hanging fruits”–keeps coming to mind. (more…)

Holiday Performances-Broken Enough to Feel, Foolish Enough to Share

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:December 7, 2016
Post category:Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

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Feeling concerned for the fallout of saying NO to the ~~gracious~~ awkward invitation to sit at the table with people who cast me out harshly and publicly and then ~~demand~~ request my appearance, I began researching how to proceed—even with my unfortunate and evil ways, of course. See, I am called to continually get over hurtful and damaging things directed at me. To act as if…

My non-coercibility has earned me the title of withholding, deserving, imagining, or causing the unkindness- which persists in this way, each time I show up for more. My recovery teaches me that I no longer have to volunteer for this. I no longer participate in my own abuse.

The abusive words and behaviors are denied entirely, labelled as my wrong perceptions, or defended as facts–sworn and believed to come from a place of honor and rightness– not hurt or anger. Hurt and anger are for losers like me. Broken enough to feel and foolish enough to share. Saddened I am, by the reminder that healing and hope for myself exist only in the absence of these dynamics. I suppose the relief is in knowing that this sickness is not uncommon and I am not alone. Bad news, I cant cure or change it, I can avoid it. Dear Family, I am unable to attend the 2016 Christmas ~~Performance~~ dinner. Please accept this as my rsvp.

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