A tragic last resort when dealing with those who lack ability and willingness to self reflect, adjust and do the work of repair.

Heartfelt Apologies- A Beginning, Not an End to a Conversation

I have observed with my sister, my ex, my mother  copious apologizing for circumstances, like a messy home, burnt meat, running late due to traffic, or forgetting to close the door, but NOT for unfair behavior or poor judgment or a plain old error-perhaps innocent, but still damaging.  With them, the most acknowledgment I dare hope for is by solicitation and typically an “OK, I am sorry, move on, already.”  Oh-OK, since that feels all safe and loving. NOT.

Over the weekend, a woman whom I do not know well asked if I would watch her son from 11:30 to 3:30 on Sunday.  I was happy to help another single mom.  At 12:00 when there was no sign or word from them she texted to notify me of her plan change 12:30-4:00.  I said nothing but felt the icky/rapey feeling of someone showing disregard for my time and for me.

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Instead of Focusing on Rejection

Instead of focusing on the most recent rejection by my mother, I will take one small action to creatively claim my living space.  This image appeared in a facebook feed for laceandwhishkey.   If you click the image, it will take you there.   Right now, our home feels to me, a place where we sleep and keep our stuff.  I hope to get busy decorating in a way expressive of who I am; what I find attractive,  appealing, and comforting.  I am only now discovering those parts of myself as I climb out of feeling emotionally/creatively stifled to the point of paralysis.
This one simple accent will transform the energy of my home.  Succulents in little black pots.  Neutral color.  Low maintenance.  Simple shapes- appealing, soothing, and doable for someone like myself.  Will I do it?  Or is this just another example of hoarding good ideas without executing?  Perhaps soon I will stage and photograph of the results of my efforts to create comfort and beauty in our house home. (more…)

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Wake The Fuck Up

First off, I will say that yelling and saying FUCK is neither wholesome nor badass.  This is a point of departure for me, not my final destination.  I am a work in progress…Unlearning and reparenting myself requires revisiting the pain from the past which threatens to haunt the present if I do not identify and unhook from the myths of my childhood experience. (more…)

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