Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

Reclaiming my life from psychological grooming and manipulation, understanding the tactics used to fracture me and their impact. Taking steps to navigate from decades of barely surviving to something not unlike thriving.

Love a Promise, Not an Emotion

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When my boys were 5 and 6 years old, after the successive passing of two acquaintances and our family pet-

S2:   Why did they die?

Me: When our bodies grow too tired and weak, our bodies die and we go to Heaven.    

S1:  Does it hurt?

Me:  I don’t think so.  We arrive whole and healthy again in Heaven-a place where all things are good, nobody is sick, mean, afraid or hurting.  In Heaven, we are with those whom we love and who love us.   

S2:  Will King Simon get his eye back?  Me:  Yes, he will have both of his eyes.

S1: Do bad guys go to heaven?

Me:  They do.  Doing bad things is part of their brokenness and in Heaven, they are no longer broken.

S2:  Do we still have to take naps?

Me:  Only when we feel like it.

S1:  Will you will get there before us?

Me:  Typically mommies and daddies go first.

S1:  How will we find you?

Me:  It will be like when I pick you up from school- you are waiting behind the gate and we just find each other.  I will be there.  They were satisfied with that.  So. Am. I.(This makes me cry each time I consider it) (more…)

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Kindness Comes from the Kind-hearted

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-9-13-12-pmA lovely couple, from two doors down, welcomed us to the community with a platter of warm, loving cookies-and have remained consistently kind-hearted, available, and interested. To me, this is both humbling and remarkable.  People often present as  “friendly” for the sake of the optical but are often simultaneously disinterested and unkind.

I am definitely not a friendly person by nature.  But– I have learned to be kind–not to be confused with: being social, people pleasing, or willing to hustle for my worth.  Lacking a need to be perceived as friendly, people concerned with appearances are threatened confused by me.  Trusted Others –recognize this:  Not always wearing a smile, I will help any person in need, without being asked and regardless if I like or “approve” of them.   (more…)

Continue ReadingKindness Comes from the Kind-hearted