Reclaiming my life from psychological grooming and manipulation, understanding the tactics used to fracture me and their impact. Taking steps to navigate from decades of barely surviving to something not unlike thriving.
Hello Friends, Last month, my Darling stumped me with “So…what do you want for your birthday?”.
In a tone suggesting, “Please don’t make me think about it.”, my knee-jerk response was “I don’t know”.
Asked by some, “What do you want for your birthday?”, I might say: “Nothing, really”, name something they’d enjoy getting me, OR roll the dice and share the truth-and wind up with a “gift” indicative of not being heard or valued. (more…)
For so long, I might only shave my legs or wear good undies, outfit, or make up if I were to be seen by “someone good”. Sad but true. Now, I choose these things for me, for my own self-care. Self care is unnatural for me. So much easier to neglect myself. I’m no longer motivated by the opinions of those once who wish to hand down their judgment or favor. Big News—the judgers do not have what I need. Their opinions are not my business and I need not turn to them to see where I stand. I don’t need permission to take good care of myself and I don’t do it at them. I have learned to do it because it is responsible and satisfying. I am amused by my bragging of allowing my hairS to become greasy, my legs to go from prickly- to furry, to those who need to judge.
I recognize that there are times for which evidence of artful makeup, grooming, and outfitting are called. Times where they are desired. AND Times in which it is totally unnecessary to concern myself. My worthiness is real, no matter. And my self-esteem tells me so. (more…)
"Even the best of us are at least part-time bastards." By: Mary Karr: The Liar's Club
“People who are hurting don't need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving witness. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in…