In my family of origin (FOO) it is necessary to label and dismiss anyone who recalls or processes things differently, as a #historicalrevisionist , particularly if the recollection is less favorable…
Birthday sentiments to my female sibling who believes that being grossed out by sex is the same as being a lady. And who speaks of being phobed about by lesbians(a-hem) and worries constantly that she looks like one. I found the perfect card for you. Also, Thank you for getting born. If not for you, and wanting you to love ?me so badly, I would never have married someone just like you??And I would not have my two sons. (more…)
While it is true that I have tapped into the magic of self love, this by no means is an expression of being perfect or finished or in love with myself. It means I recognize my worthiness of 
connection, wholeness, peace, and kindness of people who value me. I no longer doubt and dislike myself enough to subject myself to the painful brand of love-and I have for now stopped begging for it to be different, with my family of origin. Without self-love, I was willing to come around, to dine with people who name call and behave in ways which are diminishing to me- creating unnecessary hardship and loss of innocence for my children. I realize how I came to marry my children’s father, emotionally and morally vacant, concerned primarily with appearances. Not knowing what being loved and nurtured felt like, I chose more of what I knew. As I have recovered; learned what it means to offer, receive, and welcome wholesome love and nurturing, I no longer tolerate or take blame for others whose behaviors and words I experience as foul.
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Because I experienced trauma around food, I have spent the second half of my life learning to develop a healthy relationship with it. Still, I find it challenging to eat right foods at right…