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Get Back Up! (again)

This position is uncomfortable and I prefer the other view. Deep Breath. I will get myself up- do the next right thing.  Dogs to groomer, serve my boss,  be present for the joy of preparing for my older son’s birthday party.  It would be much easier to lay here indulging fantasy and regret. If I spend one minute thinking of those who might enjoy smugly eluding to their sympathy for me with each other, that is a minute wasted.  Today, I am free to focus on love and kindness.  I am free to be of service to someone in need.  I am free to feel and share and heal my pain.  I am free to be angry and to work through it, without denying it or trying to offload it onto anyone.  I am free to resume this position at any time. Oh, goody.

 

PS-Sympathy is bullshit- for those who think they are better and unable to acknowledge or respect hard feelings.  Empathy and Compassion are for BadAsses.  I might tap into my anger to get me moving. Sadness feels paralyzing.  Sometimes the adrenaline from anger promotes more productivity than 7 cups of coffee.

Check out Brené Brown’s video on Sympathy driving disconnection while Empathy serves to connect, relate, and heal.

 

Published by Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

3 Replies to “Get Back Up! (again)”

  1. I totally agree that empathy and compassion are for badasses. Sympathy may be all some can offer, but it’s those who have BEEN THERE who we need for love ❤️ And support ??????

    1. It is odd how it is natural or learned for some and for others, utterly unthinkable and weak or in some way judgeable. I am grateful to be learning about it and practicing it. I guess when you don’t know what love and compassion are, you also do not know “what they are not”. I married the same type of man-totally void of these things, has the “sucks to be you” attitude if he sees someone struggling….or “loser”. Early in our marriage I wanted one of those yellow ribbon car magnets for our soldiers and he said no. “I do not support them, I don’t agree with what they are doing”. I lost my mind and died inside. It was so clear and still terribly confusing. He was so sure of his position. I tried to forgive the ignorance but there is something much bigger and scarier at work in the mind of a person who says this. Trying to love and feel loved by him was….well, I am glad to no longer be trying.

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