Needy as shit this week, I have been relentless- calling Sweet Greg or peppering him with texts with a word or reference to something hysterically funny, to only the two of us. While it is for amusement, I do this for assurance…subtextually asking,”were you really there? did this really happen? are we connected?” Consistently, he blows my mind with quick and clever responses, both fun and affirming. Our best laughs are almost always those in which we are laughing directly AT our selves, not at each other…or at someone else, but only because we are relating—in that humbled insider kind of way.
I feast on moments of shared synchronized laughter with Greg which get boiled down from a story to a single word or phrase that will NEVER DIE. Unceasingly, we bring it back and inject it whenever possible. Difficult to know if our inside jokes are the cause or the result of our deep knowing of each other. The laughing is from a place or relating. It is the expression of joy- of being inside and knowing together. It is wholesome! It is not that weird, scary laugh, AT the expense of another. The constant unspoken message is “I get you, I totally get you.” We are united in the sentiment that nothing is funny if it causes someone actual pain. Mean humor, I no longer appreciate or tolerate. AND I have done more than my share. More unlearning…
Laughter is healing and comforting and sexy. It is absolutely the shortest distance between two people. I am finding that with my Trusted Others, together, we are able to cry as deeply as we laugh.
I am grateful to have recovered a wholesome sense of humor. For decades I enjoyed and employed humor that was aimed passively or even actively at diminishing others. I am sorry for that. But- I am happy to now have the Courage to Change. Changing and growing is for badasses! Wholesome laughter is for Badasses. The other kind is for bad asses.
This first thing I told my BFF about my then new boyfriend/ now my husband is that “he makes me laugh every morning before I can even get out of bed”. Pretty high praise on the friend or boyfriend scale. Just the other morning we were both sitting on the sofa feeling sick and very tired. He got me laughing in no time. I was still sick, and spent the day in bed, but that pick me up was just the best.
For those close to me: husband, daughters, friends, shared experiences (especially the ones that turned out ‘not so good’), words-maybe ones we made up–create the basis of that special shared connection. I bet none of you know what piggy play time pearls are but my BFF from childhood does. I love to make up words. All mya cats, dogs and other various animals have multiple nick names. Some stick around.
Laughter is the glue of love that hold us together. The more the merrier. Thanks for sharting (inside joke) Maggie ?=?
Sharting will always make me laugh and think of you. Any time I say thank you for sharing, I really want to say Thank you for sharTing, reliving that moment with you. I don’t even know the moment anymore. I just know we both enjoyed that part of the movie and the possibility of injecting into a situation. Love Love Love.
Laughter is an essential magic in a relationship of any kind. Humor is super sexy and has kept me connected to the best parts of my bf. He is quick witted and hilarious to me. Keeps me rolling at dinners and just while we are in the grocery store. This connectedness in our humor and inside jokes is the place I find I’m so in love. It makes it so difficult to swallow the less mature parts of him that are unacceptable to me. How can we love so deeply and fully connect and then the disconnect where his method of expression of his discomfort is to emotionally abandon, criticize and confuse. I become speechless. I long for the humor and stability in that so I can trust my emotional safety.
To be connected in these ways makes unspoken communication even more radiant. I think this is the first relationship EVER in which I feel 100% safe, welcome, loved and totally visible. No drama is also a first…I goes because we each not only get to be who we are but we expect nothing less. Together we expand. It is all I ever wanted. Contracting in order to support the illusion of connection feels to me like death, soul killing. I will not do it. I choose kindness and connection. Love is a promise—not a feeling. 100%