It is not Impossible, but UNpossible

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:February 20, 2017
Post category:Acceptance / Faith / Intimacy / Musings / Self-Love

Dear Sister, After watching Alice Through the Looking Glass tonight, I see my continued lack of acceptance for your current arrangement. Whatever motivates your crusade to have me banished makes a healthy union UNpossible. This is what I would say to you, if you were listening for anything but your own voice. My only regret in this matter is having brought my ex around, knowing the two of you would extract righteous solace from a bond at my expense. How dare a person like myself walk away from people like you? Right? What to do when someone you think so little of, actually rejects the relationship with you…..Achey heart, head and shoulders up, I walk away from unkindness(and that is putting it gently). For my mother, I am willing to show up for healing with you, no abuse, and no pretending that things are different from how they are. Healing is badass. I wish it for you. You cannot feel good about what you have done and said. You can still make things better. It is not impossible. Many times in my life I have made big messes. Nothing has freed me more than cleaning up after myself. I wish that for you. This is a mess! Too big to go neatly under the rug and the clock is ticking.

Tags: acceptance, Alice Through The Looking Glass, Appearances, betrayal, bullying, Catherine Whitney, coward, Dear Sister, Dishonor, dominance, ego, emotional abuse, emotional dishonesty, emotional violence, entitlement, Greed, Hidden Agendas, Hidden Rage, Honor, Intentions, Jilan Ghoneim, love, narcissistic supply, Natural Consequences, pretending, resentment, resolution, say the unsayable, Shame, smear campaign, Sneaky, stonewalling, triangulation

Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

This Post Has 2 Comments

Gigi2 February 20, 2017

Magda-
This is so painful to read. Your courage to do the work and to share is badass. It sounds as though your sister wants to erase you or have you erased and that your mother is not opposed–as you like to say, more of an unpleasant fact than a problem. You are not alone. It takes true courage to share and to heal. Sadly, you may get to do so without “them”. Keep sharing. Also, is it possible they are incapable—rather than unwilling? Would that help you to consider that?
All the best-
GG
1. Wholesome BadAss February 20, 2017
  
  Geeeeegeeeee-
  Whoa, What a trip. I woke middle of night with the word “erasure” in my head and I couldn’t attach it to anything. I wonder if if is typical for abusers and molesters to want to erase their victims when they cant effectively get them to off themselves. This is too much. I am going to google erasure and abuse to see what is there. Thank you for stopping by and for chiming in. Every interaction and conversation I have with others takes me deeper into my truth and my recovery. Yes, considering that might help. If I can just get it to go in—from my head to my heart.
  
  magda (ha!)

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