Money-Not the Problem, Not the Solution
Money Is not my problem or my solution. Though it is nice when it is not a constant concern!! When my boys were tiny and chronically ill with a father who could not…
Fascinating and Affirming Article on Narcissism and Gas-lighting
The language of this article feels so intense and psychotic, because this is intense and psychotic...and it is 100% my experience with my sister. There is no answer or solution other than No…
Wake The Fuck Up
First off, I will say that yelling and saying FUCK is neither wholesome nor badass. This is a point of departure for me, not my final destination. I am a work in progress…Unlearning and reparenting myself requires revisiting the pain from the past which threatens to haunt the present if I do not identify and unhook from the myths of my childhood experience. (more…)
The Games Continue
My sister hosted my ex husband and our sweet boys yesterday for lunch with my mother. My younger son, so sensitive and aware, said to me; "Mom, it is just not right." Agreed, It is…
Kindness v. Friendliness
RE: Greg’s kindness: S2 asked “Is he that way because his parents are like that?”. My response segued nicely into expansion of my own “family” experience. Any excuse at all will do! Feigning diplomacy, I shared how having grown up with the intense harshness of my childhood home left me lacking any understanding of authentic kindness and gentleness. I still cannot help but marvel at kind, respectful, gentle natured people. Intentional and undiscriminating kindness is a rare practice which I strive daily to bring into our focus and existence. Kindness is in the little things we say and do(or not). Before recovery, I believed that kindness was reserved for the “worthy”. In recovery, I have learned we are each worthy of kindness and connection, even at our worst, especially at our worst. Kindness is always the answer, and has nothing to do with tolerating abuse or being friendly/flattering(gag). “There is nobody on earth more important than you…and there is nobody on this earth less important than you.” I find myself repeating this regularly to my children and to myself. (more…)
Speak Your Heart – Listeners Will Listen
Hello Friends, I have recently discovered what I consider to be the perfect artist. Perfect, maybe because she doesn't confuse me- because each of her pieces is deeply personal and relatable…
We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets
Hello Friends, "I'm 44. I've been recovering for years in xxxxx meetings for adult children of xxxxxx. With your help, I now own my past. I live in the present…
Being Heard v. Being Erased
In my upbringing I learned all about shutting down--trying to erase you or at the very least, make you feel erased when you differed from, or maybe even were similar to me, in ways that illuminated my imperfection wrongness.…
It is not Impossible, but UNpossible
Dear Sister, After watching Alice Through the Looking Glass tonight, I see my continued lack of acceptance for your current arrangement. Whatever motivates your crusade to have me banished makes a healthy union…
Bless Them, Change Me
So, I have become increasingly aware of a dynamic, a pattern of behavior that feels icky to me. Because I have been guilty of this, I am inclined to judge it…