I Am Not Just Raising Boys
How my day began: S2 enters my room to ask me if I am awake. Me: Good morning baby. Did your brother wake you up? S2: No he was awake…
Eff Socializing and Small Talk-if it is not for you
I simply cannot find the words to describe all the ways in which Jiu Jitsu meets our family’s needs at sensory, spiritual, and social levels. There is something so humbling and safe, and empowering in this martial art. If I had my way, classes would be three hours instead of one. My boys feel similarly and we enjoy coming home and Jiu Jitsu-ing each other. The connection, self-esteem, and confidence that happen in our studio/class defy articulation. It is not friendship so much as kinship. And I wouldn’t call it a fellowship, because I believe that requires social-talking, where this requires talking only when necessary to learn a new position or submission skill. (more…)
Take Time for Creativity
For the first time in almost 2 years, I am able to mentally settle down enough to look through and work in my altered books. My soulmate-best friend, who came to me late in life and at exactly the right time, is an art therapist. For yeeeears, she ♥harassed ♥me to craft with her and I REFUUUUUUSED- unwilling AND uncertain that I could produce anything enjoyable or respectable. My first surrender to her art torture was a collage. I actually created a vision board(which feels queer for me to even say) and in the hours and days of harvesting suitable images, I discovered what was important to me, about me. I fell in love with the process. With anything I “create”, I tend to be critical and ambivalent about my finished work.(Previously learned, self-limiting attitudes I am now unlearning) When I look at anything drawn, colored, painted, copied, pasted, or even cooked by me, I can see the white knuckles and the fear all over it, my intensity– and that WAS painful to acknowledge. I do not love being intense…but now I own it and enjoy closeness with those who appreciate it and distance from those who judge. It is how and who I am. In-tense! (more…)
I Will Be Changed But Not Reduced
Observing my family of origin from an emotionally safe distance allows me to see the extreme and intense ways of their day-to-day functioning. Frequent and casual but righteous use of the words: always, never, love,…