I had believed myself smart enough and fully capable of being treated with indifference bordering on disdain while maintaining a strong sense of self-respect. I was wrong also in thinking myself practical enough to separate what they say I am from what I know I am. I have allowed myself to be treated as disposable. Believing I could fulfill this role while still protecting that sacred place inside myself that I know deserves better, more, different. But it doesn’t work like this. When someone shows you repeatedly how little you mean to them and you keep coming back for more, before you know it, you mean less to yourself.
I am not made up of compartments. I am one whole person. What gets said to me, get said to all of me. Ditto what gets done. Being treated like shit is something you learn to accept, condone, and come to believe you deserve. You tell yourself you asked for it. When we enter into adult relationships, there is the basic human promise to be decent to each other. I am under no obligation to stay or return to anyone who repeatedly breaks that promise.
I think I know her answer. What would you do, what have you done when consistently treated in ways that are diminishing to your whole person? PS-Every sentiment and most of the words above come directly from Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl. Lena Dunham wholesome of wholesome hearts and badass truth teller. Thank you!
