Mindful Parenting
Were my parents horrible? We were a horrible fit. Being less sensitive, more concerned with pleasing them may have helped. Instead, I sought gracelessly, if not pathetically, a quiet gentle…
PSA–Match.com Works When You are Honest
The right one will know all of your weaknesses and never use them against you.
I have been meaning to share this experience now, for a while. Not only because of the immense pleasure it gives me but because I feel it might be of service to anyone still looking for authentic connection online. In late 2015, I posted a profile on Match.com after moving back East. Disturbingly, my ex husband appeared as my first match. Actually, it was funny, and at the time we were still friendly and working well together (dun dun dunnnn….before my sister’s campaign). (more…)
Destroying Others is Monstrous Behavior
As I plan my son’s birthday celebration, I cannot help but relive the pain of him calling me last year on his way home from a dinner hosted by my…
Fathers Day Feelings
“Special Days” can be difficult.
Today, while sweet Greg is out riding, for exercise, I am reaching out to survivors of abuse, anyone in recovery, and my fellow introverts. You are my people, my tribe and Special Days can be grim for US.
A lil vexed, as my sister continues to establish and nurture relations with my ex and his family. Perhaps less objectionable if any connection at all had existed prior to our divorce. In more wholesome families, even historical relations with prior in-laws would be set aside. I speculate my sister will wish to perform a “family” dinner for my ex, his father and my boys this weekend- featuring her demonstrations of grace and hospitality- proof that she is the good one, cloaked in all white with her stiff and practiced smile. (barfing emoji here) The antics are an unpleasant fact, not a problem. Clearly, I am not yet in acceptance of this shit-show circus. Her investment in these alliances which, for obvious reasons, creates unnecessary conflict between my ex and me (miraculous survivors of hellish marriage and divorce-who worked miracles), intensify our struggle to coparent cohesively for our sons. This is unkind and a disservice to our children. My request to “Please Stop” has been found laughable. (more…)
To Thine Own Self Be True
So, over lunch, I conducted a survey on my sons and their friends, a highly evolved bunch….of course. I asked: “If you were at school and there were only two plates being served for lunch: 1) highly popular but not what you like and 2) an offering of something far less popular, maybe even unusual (They suggested swordfish) which you liked. What do you choose? You would be seated at the table only with others who chose the same food selection as you.” Brilliant response were as follows: (more…)
I know what I Bring to the Table
I know what I bring to the table. So, trust me when I say: I am not afraid to eat alone. Sitting at a well set table positioned precariously atop decades of eggshells (unresolved issues) is something I do not choose. Submitting myself to that energy renders me physically and mentally unwell. Gathering for meals or “special occasions” should not feel awful. Right? (more…)
Historical Revisionist–Future Revisionist
In my family of origin (FOO) it is necessary to label and dismiss anyone who recalls or processes things differently, as a #historicalrevisionist , particularly if the recollection is less favorable…
The Day You Were Born
Birthday sentiments to my female sibling who believes that being grossed out by sex is the same as being a lady. And who speaks of being phobed about by lesbians(a-hem) and worries constantly that she looks like one. I found the perfect card for you. Also, Thank you for getting born. If not for you, and wanting you to love ?me so badly, I would never have married someone just like you??And I would not have my two sons. (more…)