I used to have immense shame over how I struggled and how I felt, like I was embarrassed for my feelings. WTF? Difficult feelings were for judging not having or coping with. And I fruitlessly sought approval from the most emotionally vacant and disapproving. And, I too learned to become disapproving of myself and others, particularly those in struggle, having needs or ideas different from my own, so basically everybody.
We judge when we are afraid. It is easier to look, point and judge than to look inward and ask, why does that make me so uncomfortable? By judging and disliking someone, is that proof of their badness and unlikability? No, it is evidence of an inability to be compassionate and loving. Behaviors can be bad. Choices can be bad. But people are not bad. Even assholes are just people who cannot yet see the changes they are being called to make. Is using the word asshole, a sign of judgment? Probably so. I am a work in progress.
I do believe that some people are inherently broken and dark hearted and knowingly do harmful things in order to get ahead or to be right and lacking in the ability or will to self reflect and elevate their spiritual presence. I don’t judge them. I just give them a lot of space and send them light and love from over here, when I am feeling humble and generous. hahaha. Again, a work in progress. The struggle is real. Assholes are real. Feelings are real. Recovery is real—#odaat
