Some Letters
Angry letters I would write and send if not for recovery. I have anger, but it is not the boss of me. I let it teach me and then I…
The Part Where You Fucked Up
The tribal tension in our country right now is a perfect parallel to the dynamic of my family of origin- overflowing of remarkable efforts toward rightness and to victory, rather…
The Smiling Poop Emoji
A pile of poop with a smile, is still poop. Sunday's sermon began with the smiling poop emoji on both of the teleprompter screens. The visual presentations were prefaced with,…
Grandma’s Favorite—awww so sweet, y’all
This post is taken directly from how.i.rebuilt.myself. The "me too " which I feel when I read her posts is priceless-helping survivors heal, one post at a time. Fake chivalry of the covert…
Thank Good Gods
The words below are cherry picked straight from Jen Hatmaker's post on IG today. They speak directly to my heart and make clear for me the difference between those I…
Undeserving
What an interesting concept. "DESERVE". I cannot help but cringe each time I hear this word thrown about. Maybe as a person who grew up feeling confused about being both…
Supporting Gay Tweens- Even when they are not “yours”
Last week my older son was initiated by a new neighbor boy, whom we do not know—even a little. This neighbor decided to “come out” via text message, to my…
It is Not that I Don’t Care..
People have expressed to me, their sense, that I do not care what others think. This is UNtrue. I make no efforts to control what others think or how they feel about me. That is not my job. If a person does not care for me, that is not a problem (until they decide to punish me), it just means we are not for each other. I would surely prefer if everyone applauded my decisions and methods, but that is unrealistic and counter to my striving to live authentically, with honest and transparent boundaries(for myself)– which support self care, personal growth and my own well-being. 
This truth and freedom are offered to me by my program of recovery. Many people do not yet understand that recovery is not only for those with obvious and overt addictions to substances, sex, shopping, gambling, food…. Mine, is a program of recovery, for those struggling to recover from abusive relationships, typically with the mentally unwell or addicted person. For the sake of my blog and journey, abuse is: behavior of others which harms, betrays, diminishes, or disrespects another. Sustained entanglement in an abusive dynamic can result in trauma and depression(mental unwellness, sometimes temporarily relieved by addictive behaviors)- which require recovery OR denial (offloading or numbing pain instead of healing it). I choose recovery. For people who choose power, rightness, and denial, I am definitely not their cup of tea and they are not mine. It is not a war, just a fact…until attacks begin- typically underhanded–the silent kill shots are the worst, the highly visible ones, to which nobody objects, are equally deadly. (more…)
For the Love
As the beginning of another school year-- at new schools, rapidly approaches, I imagine and worry dream for my sons-- the possibilities that lay ahead. Of course, I want them to…
Because Obviously
A program friend recently asked me if I out my sister to punish her, and cautioned me against it---because that(punishing) would be bad for my recovery (not out of regard…