I am feeling agitated over how our new before and after school arrangement is no good for my sons. It is the consequence of my decision to no longer inconvenience my self, in service to their father, who knowingly and repeatedly diminishes the peace of our family—simply because he can. As if free-will is an achievement or a super power.
The boys’ father (BF) likes to assert how it is his right to spend time with whomever he chooses. I accept this as both true and fine. Somehow, BF denies the toxicity of his relationship with my sister; conceived in a divisive scheme which hurts our entire family. That affiliation is vile and unforgivably damaging to our children. This alliance, between two individuals who have knowingly and repeatedly distressed my children and me, is unwholesome in all ways.
My sons witness their father and his father(their grandpa) do exactly as my sister and my mother do/did. I hope that their examples will serve as cautionary tales, more than models for how and why to relate, bond, and betray.
I would rather go to my grave with my boys mutually and collectively hating on me– than them not speaking to one another. They belong to each other…but they come from families who are committed to THIS. Triangulation and smear campaigns— cheering for downfalls and struggles of any person daring to directly confront them with boundaries.
Who even does that? We are breaking that cycle.
