I may spend all of my days seeking a way to forgive and emotionally release one who knowingly chooses to do harmful things to those who cross her or are no longer useful.
For now, this is the best I can do:
“I am truly sorry for whatever is going on in your life that makes you feel compelled to do these things. I hope you find the healing you need.”
As the holidays approach, I worry for my sons that they will be dragged through things not meant for them…things which further divide their already divorced parents– because apparently harming them is less fun than letting them be.
Weird side note: My sons and I have become increasingly aware of weaponizing sensitivity(honest expression of discomfort), people using unwholesome tones to say things like: “What is wrong with you? Why are you so mad? Why are you so defensive? Why are you yelling? You are so sensitive. Lighten up. Chill out.” Each of these communicate something vastly different from “What is going on with you? What do you need? You seem upset, what can I do?” It is passive agressive and confusing when you are young and innocent, still. Here is to wishing an emotionally safe and wholesome, non-confsuing, non-traumatic and non-divisve holiday season for my sweet boys.
