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Monthly Archives: September 2023

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Trojan Horse(repost from 2017)

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:September 26, 2023
Post category:Musings

Continue ReadingTrojan Horse(repost from 2017)

This Was Their Prophecy

Extensive, Expensive, and Avoidable

Unraveling and Rebuilding

Do Better...Paul

I Wasn’t Ignoring Reality—I Was Conditioned to Doubt It

Sorry I slapped you

The Sudden but Slow Fade

What Can I Do for You?

Harm Without Malice

The intention for Wholesome Badass is to share my journey, my UN-learnings- openly, inviting community with Trusted Others who also are intensely feeling beings.

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Recent Posts

This Was Their Prophecy

They didn’t predict this. They designed it. God, it hits hard—but it’s true. This is exactly the outcome they set the stage for. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy they engineered, then stepped back to watch unfold so they could say, “See?

Extensive, Expensive, and Avoidable

In May 2024, at 55, I sought medical care for hot flashes, depression, brain fog, insomnia, severe back and hip pain, and uncontrollable crying. The pain was so intense I couldn’t sit, stand upright, or lie on my back. Despite

Unraveling and Rebuilding

This past month broke me open. I ended a relationship I cared deeply about. COVID knocked me all the way down—but gave me sleep like I’ve never had. My house fell apart, my body’s adjusting to a new pain management

Do Better…Paul

Today, Simon from Bumble messaged to say “Hi Sexy, How is your day going?” Simon and I have not spoken before. And never will. Scott opened with a riddle (corny is implied). Nope. Paul, after I thoughtfully responded to something

I Wasn’t Ignoring Reality—I Was Conditioned to Doubt It

I do not think it is that I was stubbornly holding onto false hope—I was being actively manipulated, fed contradictions, and caught in a cycle designed to keep me confused. I didn’t choose to ignore reality; I had been conditioned

Sorry I slapped you

I wonder if there’s a medication and also a dose high enough that could help me have felt less affected by the CVS cashier. He wasn’t just ringing me up; he was theatrically overperforming the role of one who works

The Sudden but Slow Fade

Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 9 of 32,000,000) The Slow Fade: How Devaluation, Distancing, and Discard Unfolded For the first five months, we spent an average of 30 hours a week together—during workdays, evenings,

What Can I Do for You?

In the two years since my boys’ dad started his on-again, off-again relationship with this woman, she’s attempted a number times to get on my radar. I don’t fully understand it. I try not to assume motives because, I can’t

Previous Posts

2025 (27)

14. April / This Was Their Prophecy
13. April / Extensive, Expensive, and Avoidable
10. April / Unraveling and Rebuilding
01. April / Do Better…Paul
30. March / I Wasn’t Ignoring Reality—I Was Conditioned to Doubt It
30. March / Sorry I slapped you
29. March / The Sudden but Slow Fade
28. March / What Can I Do for You?
23. March / Starved
21. March / Harm Without Malice
20. March / Love Bombing: Lies Before Hello
19. March / When Love Fades
19. March / The Two Truths
19. March / Recognizing Love Bombing Signs
18. March / Addiction to Toxic Love
18. March / Breaking the Love Spell
10. March / The Cure and the Curse
09. March / The Truth is the Truth
08. March / Little Wins
08. March / Breaking Generational Chains
02. March / The Art of Being Disposable
25. February / Breaking the Cycle: A Miracle in Parenting
20. February / Valentine’s Day: WTF
19. February / Between Invisible & Seen: Finding True Belonging
18. February / Starved
18. February / Love & Self-Worth: The Legacy of Our Caregivers
23. January / Purpose, Belonging, Direction

2024 (22)

16. October / Just Shut Up
15. October / I’m not angry. I’m overwhelmed.
03. October / Accuracy of Language
03. October / Rupture and Repair
30. September / Breakdown or Breakthrough
29. September / National Son’s Day
18. September / Healing and Living
16. September / Truthful vs Honest
15. September / Just Be Positive
08. September / Why a Smear Campaign?
07. September / Painful Reminders
03. September / Fallout from The Love Bomb
02. September / Blessings and Privilege
02. September / A New Low
01. September / Several Things
01. September / What if?
18. August / More More More – PLEASE
19. April / Wax Play?
24. February / Rehash- ReCap
24. February / Hit and Run and CPTSD
18. January / Categorically and Inherently Wrong
02. January / Bad Economy

2023 (21)

24. December / Better Not Cry- Better Not Pout
05. November / Holding On– But also letting go
14. October / Goals, Ambition, Mental Health
05. October / How Do I Handle This?
26. September / Trojan Horse(repost from 2017)
24. August / The Pain We Do Not Heal(re-post from 2018)
22. August / If you can’t convince them, confuse them(re-post)
22. August / A Different Kind Of Sex(re-post)
01. August / Public Service Announcement
29. July / Shame and Guilt and Fear
29. July / Perspectives
26. July / Roles and Scripts
11. July / New Dynamics
26. June / Like a Moth to a Flame
17. June / Big Triggers
10. June / Trolling for Love on Match.com
13. May / Good, better, and not enough
09. April / Relax- Calm Down
08. April / My Friend in the Mountains
12. March / New Love- Old Wounds
12. February / It Is Like This

2022 (37)

31. December / Held and Free
24. December / Scapegoating- How it begins
17. December / AMEN(ds)
11. November / Cycles of Healing
06. August / Dog Whistling
05. August / My First Bullies
27. July / Are you seriously still talking about it?
26. July / Out Of My Control- In My Control
17. July / dis-GRACEd
14. July / Amazing Grace
14. July / Stuff that is important to me
11. July / In healthy, healing, loving family systems…
07. July / She would never say it, but…
05. July / Dear Maggie
04. July / July 4
12. June / YOU ARE THE ONLY PROBLEM!!!
30. May / Things Learned
29. May / Blind Spots- We All Have Them
27. May / Circling The Drain
16. May / Just Another List
12. May / Unfit
08. May / Goals
23. April / Why I Did IT
12. April / The Non-Redeemable
31. March / Get Well Soon—PLEASE
19. March / 60 Year Old Bearded Alcoholic Girlfriend
15. March / Maybe I Am
13. March / Perfection v. Self Reflection
11. March / The House Rules
12. February / Fuuuuuuuuuck
05. February / Narcissistic Bullying
01. February / Pathological Shaming
22. January / Want Sum?
20. January / Love Does & Does Not
18. January / Clean MRI
17. January / So Then
14. January / Wednesday Morning Text

2021 (45)

31. December / There are Some Good Things
28. December / WIATF?
26. December / December
21. December / On Fidelity
16. December / Good Input
07. December / Connection & Purpose
27. November / Mercy
26. November / JOYful Thanksgiving
25. November / Another Thanksgiving
17. November / Random Thoughts on Love, Parenting, & Truths
13. November / Why (subtext:You suck and are crazy and we disapprove of you)
11. November / Fight Starters 100% Guaranteed
01. November / Doing The Lord’s Work
31. October / Not A Great Fit
27. October / Daily Reminders
26. October / 2021 Happy Birthday
22. October / Choosing
08. October / The Commandments
03. October / Mental Health Awareness
26. September / Narcissists Seek Validation -Not Help
19. September / My Trauma is My Gift
18. September / Step ZERO
09. September / 9.11
05. September / Covid and the Narcissist
23. August / Proud and Protected
21. August / Hard To Love
07. August / Thoughtful Cruelty
17. July / Artificial Indifference
28. June / Today v. Yesterday
28. June / Fuck yoooooooooooooooo
03. June / Clearly
29. May / PTSD and Insanity
29. May / Me Tooooo
22. May / Risk Taking Mistake Making
18. May / Wrong Beliefs- A Mother’s Day Post
04. May / Depression and Sex
18. April / Alien
17. April / Trying
23. March / Anne Lamott – Recovery Badass
14. February / Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me
08. February / Big Shot
07. February / Night-Time
27. January / Smile GDI!
14. January / On Loyalty and Abuse
04. January / Happy New Year

2020 (66)

21. December / The Art of Plausible Deniability
15. December / Wish You Were Here
12. December / Tell the Truth
02. December / No Deal!
30. November / My JOB
19. November / Let Go or Be Dragged
04. November / Week Five
29. September / A Different Kind of Life
27. September / We Love Jilan
24. September / Cover Up!
22. September / What Shame Does
14. September / ACA Daily Reading January 12- Fear
13. September / ACA Daily Reading January 11- False Self
12. September / I Don’t Get It
09. September / Before Recovery
07. September / September 7
03. September / Introverting
26. August / uniformity v. solidarity
14. August / Pain
02. August / What is Schadenfreude?
26. July / Affiliations and Attachments
23. July / Kindness Is Not Conditional
13. July / Or Else — Bring it
01. July / Be The Reason
23. June / Mama
17. June / What We Choose
09. June / Torture
08. June / MY White Privilege
12. May / Things I struggle with
11. May / Twenty-five Things
05. May / I AM
02. May / Wrong But Not Bad
24. April / I Am Free
23. April / Who I Am
21. April / Hickeys and Large Pores
20. April / Yeh- No
13. April / How I Used To Be
10. April / You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught
09. April / Serves You Right
08. April / Under The Influence
07. April / To Repair or Repaint
30. March / Gossip Culture
27. March / If it hurts me, it is bad for me
26. March / Incongruous Behaviors
25. March / The Five Rules
25. March / Self Doubt v. Purpose & Belonging
21. March / Look For The Helpers
20. March / Not So Classy
19. March / What is Wrong?
17. March / I Choose Corona Virus Over…
11. March / I Can Only Imagine
08. March / An Altruistic Donor
07. March / Liver Anyone?
29. February / Just Because
26. February / Emotionally Barbaric
24. February / Healing is Excruciating
18. February / To Struggle Is Human
03. February / Either Or
01. February / The Bare Minimum
28. January / I Will Change The Things I Can
15. January / Who Even Does That?
14. January / Bold and Sensitive
13. January / First Class
07. January / Raising a Modern-Day Knight
06. January / Learning to Say No to Yourself
03. January / What Sort of Person Behaves Like That?

2019 (58)

31. December / Bye Bye 2019
30. December / Recovering From The Family Disease
27. December / Back to Step One
26. December / No More
20. December / A Book Club Must Read
14. December / Boundaries Are Hard
11. December / Listen, Learn, Serve
09. December / Obedience to the Unenforceable
30. November / Eggshells are Easily Broken
27. November / Claiming Responsibility
18. November / Thank You for Letting Me Go
12. November / Freedom from THE Shame
08. November / Cycle Breaking–and the Fall Out
06. November / Better Living
24. October / Sweet Mercy
29. September / My Saddest Day
26. September / The Anatomy of Trust
21. September / Because I was Terrified
07. September / Fuck Shame
12. August / Love Does
28. July / Deselection
04. July / Repair or Repeat
04. July / Feeling Empowered
21. June / You Deserve Better
18. May / Sometimes The Solution Sucks
12. May / On Mother’s Day
21. April / “Happy” Easter
13. April / I Feel You—literally
18. March / An Inconvenient Child
04. March / Life and Love are Messy by Rachael Alaia
02. March / Are You an Empath?
02. March / Bye Mom
28. February / A Litany for Survival
19. February / Making Amends
18. February / Things Which Once Caused Me Shame
18. February / Goddammit Magda
17. February / Together, We Belong
15. February / The Exact Right Words
14. February / On Being Psycho
12. February / The Things We are Learning
11. February / Say Yikes and Move On!
07. February / Educated by Tara Westover
05. February / Unity v. Division
30. January / Learning to Belong
29. January / The Quality of My Thoughts
26. January / Formatting Errors v. Compatibility Issues
25. January / No Means No
24. January / Never say Never
20. January / You Can’t Make Me and Neither Can I
19. January / Trust in Kindness
14. January / Day 15 I Can Not Be Counted On
13. January / Day 14 Character Analysis
12. January / Day 13 Second-Handers
07. January / Day 8 Reflection
05. January / Atypical Day 6
03. January / Day 4 Schitt’s Creek
02. January / Day 3 The Fountainhead
01. January / 2019 Day 1

2018 (86)

31. December / No, But This Time I Mean It
21. December / Clear Boundaries are not Grudges
20. December / Are You My Mother?
17. December / Our Mother Who Art in Heaven
17. December / Social Media for Abuse Awareness
16. December / Pills That are Hard to Swallow
04. December / BUT WHY THO—Dear Mom
03. December / Rest In Peace
02. December / Fake Peace
25. November / This Is Not My Kingdom
24. November / Walls or Bridges
22. November / Gentle Thanksgiving
19. November / Being Human Means Making Mistakes
09. November / Boundaries and Being Non-Dead
06. November / How I Tricked Him Into Loving Me
02. November / Healing After and During Betrayal
29. October / Communicating Truth
26. October / Aha!
25. October / Happy Birthday ?
14. October / Why Lie
11. October / Some Letters
06. October / The Part Where You Fucked Up
02. October / The Smiling Poop Emoji
25. September / Grandma’s Favorite—awww so sweet, y’all
24. September / Thank Good Gods
23. September / Undeserving
10. September / Supporting Gay Tweens- Even when they are not “yours”
26. August / It is Not that I Don’t Care..
17. August / For the Love
14. August / Because Obviously
10. August / On Forgiving
03. August / Like-hearted
28. July / Are We Good?
26. July / Stand Your Ground
25. July / It Might Just Suck
23. July / On Bullying
22. July / First, Your Spirit
19. July / On Gossip
16. July / The Tightrope
12. July / Get Well Soon
09. July / Emergencies and Celebrations
09. July / The Opposite of Love
08. July / A Letter for Children
06. July / Life and Death
05. July / Independence Day
04. July / No Laughing Matter
03. July / We Learn What We Live
02. July / Low Blood Sugar and Anxiety
02. July / Be the Nice Kid
01. July / Indirect Communication
29. June / Problem or Unpleasant Fact–How to Know
28. June / Right, Wrong, or Just Human
26. June / We Belong to Each Other
25. June / But Why Though
24. June / You Do Not Have to Agree with Me to Love Me
23. June / Ambition or Denial
22. June / You Got What You Deserved
22. June / Six Things
17. June / When Bad Things Happen to Good People
10. June / Check Your Self- Sometimes You Are the Toxic Person
07. June / Mental Health–We all have mental health.
04. June / How to Achieve Menschdom by Guy Kawasaki
26. May / What is Love?
22. May / A Letter to My Sons
20. May / Abuse is Abuse
15. May / A Letter From My Sons
13. May / Courage to Change
11. May / happy mothers’ day
06. May / The Zero-Sum Game–Everyone Loses
03. May / Every Time I Judge
02. May / Recovery Celebrations
13. April / Best Days of Our Lives
05. April / Shame on Who(or whom)?
02. April / Get Over It—Umm Okaaay
29. March / DGAF–I Totally Give
28. March / I am sorry that…
12. March / Thank You for Teaching Me
21. February / The Legacy of Rage
16. February / Serves You Right
15. February / Parenting and Power Struggles
23. January / Food and Truth-In Abundance
19. January / We Can Do Hard Things
16. January / One Goal 100% of the Time
12. January / Am I an Asshole-I Don’t Think So(anymore)
05. January / Breakups
02. January / Shannon Thomas- Healing From Hidden Abuse

2017 (160)

27. December / They Belong Together
26. December / Sweet Surrender
19. December / Connection and Protection
18. December / It is Not About You
12. December / Name it To Tame it
11. December / Winners Change and Grow, Staying the Same is for the Others
10. December / BIRTHDAY MIRACLES
04. December / What You Believe In, Becomes Your Reality, Your Life
02. December / It’s That Time of Year
28. November / Home is Where You Can Afford to Live–Right?
25. November / Children Learn What They Live
22. November / Count Your Blessings
19. November / Paper Plates–The Cheap Kind
17. November / Every Chapter Matters
10. November / Trojan Horses
09. November / So This
08. November / Truth to Bullshit
05. November / Narcissist Be Like
03. November / Kthanksbye
01. November / The Loss of an Estranged Parent
31. October / Thanksgiving with Family-More Spooky than Halloween–More Tricky than Treaty
28. October / The Opposite of Faith
27. October / Broken But Not Destroyed
26. October / Hug Rapers-Break the Cycle
25. October / A Year of Miracles-or Just One Day
24. October / Soul (Rapey) Sister
23. October / Happy Birthday
22. October / We Can Do Hard Things
21. October / One Day at A Time
18. October / Emotional Honesty and Healing v. Play Acting
17. October / Poor Sally Draper
16. October / Recovery from Life
12. October / A Friend of Bill’s
10. October / Life on Life’s Terms
09. October / Loving Myself, Unapologetically, and Without Permission
03. October / The Shit Before the Shift
02. October / We Don’t Have to Feel Starved
27. September / Nope…I can’t
26. September / You Do Not Have to Stand for the Pledge
25. September / Sorry Not Sorry
24. September / Braving The Wilderness
17. September / You Are Either With Me or You Are Against Me
22. August / Death Wishing and Hopelessness
16. August / It is NOT NORMAL
15. August / Are You Effing Insane?
14. August / Stonewalling-How it Works
13. August / Relief Is Available–Name It to Tame It
08. August / Truth Speaking–Amen
06. August / Our Feelings Can Teach Us
04. August / Jeff Brown Wisdom on Spiritual and Emotional Healing
31. July / Triangulation-How It Works
30. July / Then You Win
30. July / The Difference Is….
28. July / How Upsetting for Children
23. July / Children-Make Them Feel Loved
16. July / Love is Many Things, BUT Never Deceitful
09. July / What Is that smell? Could it be bullshit?
06. July / The Fighter
04. July / Independence Day 2017- Freedom from ……..
30. June / Mindful Parenting
27. June / PSA–Match.com Works When You are Honest
25. June / Destroying Others is Monstrous Behavior
18. June / Fathers Day Feelings
15. June / To Thine Own Self Be True
15. June / I know what I Bring to the Table
06. June / Historical Revisionist–Future Revisionist
01. June / The Day You Were Born
31. May / No, No Thank you, Unfortunately, That Wont Work
29. May / Memorial Day 2017-Dying for Peace
23. May / Self Love is the Shit
20. May / Stay Close to Anything That Makes You Glad to be Alive
19. May / Starved
17. May / The Broken Clock
16. May / Me Too, Tell Me More
13. May / We Who Are Your Closest Friends
11. May / I Wish You Well
10. May / The Miracles of Recovery
08. May / Gratitude Continued
06. May / Project Miracle
05. May / Just Be Happy-Goddammit
02. May / Letting Go of Obsession- One Day At A Time
01. May / Shame Shifting
30. April / Happy Mother’s Day
28. April / Psychological Invalidation Is Abuse
27. April / Always a Third Way
26. April / Dear Lord………
24. April / Welcome to McDonalds
22. April / What Would Lena Dunham Do?
21. April / What Is Your Problem, Anyway?
20. April / I Love Jesus
17. April / When Someone Shows You Who They Are
15. April / Let’s Roll-Grappling On and Off the Mats
14. April / Shaming and Blaming–Not Welcome Here
13. April / Kindness Can Not Be Legislated–BUT Unkindness Can
13. April / Follow Your Heart- Be True and Honor Yourself
11. April / The Matriarchal Family
07. April / Hallelujah Anyway–Anne Lamott with Reverend Chip Edens
06. April / Heaven Knows……
05. April / Pray for a Miracle
04. April / Understanding Unforgiveness- Repair or Release?
03. April / One Day at a Time, They too Shall Pass
02. April / No Solution- No problem
31. March / Surrender…. or Try Harder, More, Better
30. March / The Imaginary Letter-The One That Never Comes
29. March / Greatest Achievement-hahaha
29. March / Letter to Mother and Sister
28. March / Tools for Life
27. March / An Invitation to Heal-Repair or Release
24. March / Good Grief
23. March / The Menu-Life Choices
23. March / You Spot It–You Got It
21. March / House of Cards
21. March / Fools Rush In
15. March / Painful Dynamics- Repair or Release
14. March / Submission is for Jiu-Jitsu and Other Stuff
13. March / Moving On is Acceptance
12. March / Be Relentless: Eliminate the Poison in Your Life
11. March / Love is Compromise–Not Submission
10. March / Courage and Compassion-but first self esteem!
09. March / I Am Your Biggest Fan- I Am Your Mother
08. March / Heartfelt Apologies- A Beginning, Not an End to a Conversation
07. March / Instead of Focusing on Rejection
06. March / I Am Not Just Raising Boys
04. March / Eff Socializing and Small Talk-if it is not for you
02. March / Take Time for Creativity
01. March / I Will Be Changed But Not Reduced
28. February / Money-Not the Problem, Not the Solution
28. February / Fascinating and Affirming Article on Narcissism and Gas-lighting
27. February / Wake The Fuck Up
26. February / The Games Continue
25. February / Kindness v. Friendliness
24. February / Speak Your Heart – Listeners Will Listen
23. February / We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets
22. February / Being Heard v. Being Erased
20. February / It is not Impossible, but UNpossible
18. February / Bless Them, Change Me
17. February / Lord of the Flies- Yikes
16. February / Valentines Day Perfection- Until….
13. February / Paying it Forward
12. February / Insanity is…
10. February / Feelings are not Facts
03. February / Sadness- Part of the Healing Process
02. February / Building and Destroying Trust
01. February / My Dog and I are Both Canaries
31. January / When Your Mother Is Just Not That Into You
30. January / GPS Your Heart
27. January / Together We Rise–Yes We Do
25. January / Knowing and Using Our Power for Good
20. January / Why Lie?
18. January / Let’s Talk About Sex-Please
17. January / True Perfection
17. January / Happy People are Kind
16. January / On Khloe Kardashian’s Revenge Body
12. January / Boundaries are for Badasses
12. January / Problem v. Unpleasant Fact
10. January / Prayer Works!
06. January / When People Show Us Who They Are
05. January / Faithful Living in 2017- Day 3
02. January / A New Day-New Strengths
01. January / 2017 Best Practices for Self-Love

2016 (46)

29. December / I Choose to Share, Heal, Expand-I Write the Ending
27. December / Letter to Mom
26. December / Letter To Self
24. December / Saying Ouch
23. December / AMEN
21. December / BadAss Friends
20. December / Most Wonderful Time of the Yeeeeear
19. December / Safe Distance is not Non-love
18. December / Even The Broken Clock is Right Twice a Day
16. December / What We Focus on Grows
14. December / No is a complete sentence.
11. December / Love is kind-right?
10. December / Go Where The Love Is
09. December / Inside Jokes and Situational Nicknames
08. December / Get Back Up! (again)
07. December / Holiday Performances-Broken Enough to Feel, Foolish Enough to Share
07. December / Silence- Not Equal to Peace and Grace
06. December / Today is Difficult
05. December / Love a Promise, Not an Emotion
04. December / Fearless Authenticity-I Heart the Dowager
03. December / Kindness Comes from the Kind-hearted
02. December / Courage and Vulnerability
01. December / What Is Love?
30. November / Loyalty
29. November / Silence
29. November / A Narcissist’s Prayer
27. November / Golden Memories
26. November / The Key
25. November / Best Day Ever
24. November / Thanksgiving Thoughts for Those Contemplating No Contact
22. November / Big Heart–Big Boundaries
20. November / Happy? Birthday
19. November / Greasy Hair and Furry Legs
18. November / Even the Best of Us
16. November / What Is Needed…
16. November / THERE YOU ARE….BORROWED FROM MOMASTERY-BLOG BY GLENNON DOYLE MELTON
14. November / We Write Our Own Endings-Brené Brown
13. November / Finding My Voice-and my lil pink axe
12. November / Unlearning-One Day at a Time
11. November / This Is How–Augusten Burroughs
10. November / Emotional Experience, Real, Though Not Universal
07. September / Forgiveness
21. August / WBA-Terminology
15. August / Big Effen Surrender
01. June / Fearless Humor–Only a BadAss Would Own this Thinking
18. April / Absolute Authenticity Has Its Price

2015 (5)

06. August / BadAss Lil Warrior
31. May / GOD’s Grace
25. May / Love is the Answer
20. May / Different Kinds of Love
18. April / What We Model for Our Children…

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Words to LIVE By

Who you spend your time with will have a great impact on what kind of life you live. Spend time with the right people.
— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) November 19, 2016

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