I have been struggling to share about the untraditional nature of my relationship, which is by far the only profoundly satisfying one I have known – a magical combination of both calm and wildly exciting. Who knew that this was a thing?
Because of my love for candles, O gifted me three nice candles in the most whoelsome peaceful scents. And with regard for my unique wiring and thus an appreciation for high impact tactile experiences, he super surprised me with what were advertised as low temperature candles designed specifically for wax play (not a thing which I had previously known and am more than happy to explore with him).
Anyway, we established a color code (green, yellow, red) to indicate comfort levels and limits. He began dripping wax on my back from the black candle, which I think was supposed to be the lowest temperature, of the three. The very first drop felt not unlike second-degree burn and was an immediate CODE RED+, which we found hysterical.
O continued adjusting the candle to find a range/distance which was hot, but not dangerously so. But, with each drip still CODE RED(ish), he was like “It seems I would have to actually stand on the bed to get the candle far enough from your body to avoid burning you.”
So, we tried the other two candles- both the blue and the red were each just as immediately skin searing as the black one.
O visited the vendor’s website for reviews and tips or things we could do differently- And literally almost all reviews for this product line were in all caps: DO NOT BUY!!!! – some even including photos of blistering and scalding as a result of wax play with these candles.
I suppose we will need a different kind.
On a less fun note, I must express my gratitude for my program of recovery which helps me deal with the boys’ father who has given our older son(with a license for less than a year and has totalled a car) permission to travel alone (in a sixteen year old vehicle) to Kentucky(7+hours) to race and to camp. That neither of us could get to him quickly in the event of car trouble or physical injury, begs all of my old fearful and reactive behaviors to kick in. I feel desperate to tell his father about himself.
Sharing here allows me to resist. I am proud to have expressed my concern with grace- no judgment (or demand) to him. I suspect if he changes his decision, he will claim it is to accomodate me which is farcical to anyone who knows us. It would be because it has been made clear that the responsiblity of any resulting problems will undeniably rest squarely on his shoulders. It will probably be fine. I however, am disinterseted in making decisions which could prove otherwise. I look forward to the relief of some solid wax play. I would like the wax so hot that it, if one degree hotter, would damage my skin. Asap. #sensoryfreak
