Breakdown or Breakthrough
Today, in rush hour traffic, I trekked uptown for a medical appointment. As an anxious and easily overwhelmed person, with a poor sense of direction, I avoid driving busy and…
National Son’s Day
Ugh, another day to grieve. Not grief that I have sons, but who they get to see me as. I wish they could have known the person I was before…
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Healing and Living
What my healing looks like: I get dysregulated and lose my shit – saying reactive and escalating things---and behaving badly. And then: I apologize and acknowledge that the immense reaction…
Truthful vs Honest
The irreparable damage of having actively engaged my children in schemes of parental alienation and betrayal of their mother, is not a thing, we as a family, have recovered from. …
Just Be Positive
I needed something from the world (which in formative years- meant my mother whom I counted on to soothe and support me) which I did not know how to ask for. I needed shelter from…
Why a Smear Campaign?
Today, my therapist asked why my sister or the boys' father might want to undermine me and damage my credibility. The simple answer is that I refused to submit to…
Painful Reminders
Today marks the date of my mother’s birth and the continuing birthday - holiday season. I have been reflecting on my mother’s financially heroic rescue of me (even while she…
Fallout from The Love Bomb
As for more more more, apparently that is exactly what a love bomber wants you to want and count on. I hate to use that word, because it makes me…
Blessings and Privilege
If you were blessed in any of the following ways, in your upbringing and formative experience, you were privileged. Felt loved, seen, heard, safe, welcomed, protected, valued, worthy of good…
A New Low
For the past months, intractable insomnia has drastically diminished my ability to function. Circling the drain is the best I can do. My therapist encouraged me to address chronic back…