The irreparable damage of having actively engaged my children in schemes of parental alienation and betrayal of their mother, is not a thing, we as a family, have recovered from. My decimation continues to affect everyday life, in unhopeful ways.
The things which were done were the acts of an enemy—Harmful, non-innocent, and non-benevolent. And the effects and reminders are toxic and lingering. As it was intended, it was a total knock out.
Getting away with a thing, makes it no less evil or fucked up. A (claimed) intention does not mitigate the impact.
I am obsessing the difference between truth (factual correctness) and honesty. I spot it regularly. The manipulation of factual accuracy within carefully curated statements to be deliberately incomplete and misleading. Deceptive. Destabilizing. The opposite of how intentionally honest people communicate. I am noticing how those who need to appear right, happy, and easy breezy are prone to this manner of presenting.
I am doing my best to record things which I have experienced, exactly as I remember them. I believe that my healing has value, more so when shared.
Note:
The ongoing rupture with no vision for repair is difficult to live with. I am learning (but not yet accepting) in therapy that in order to heal, I must let go of the fantasy of a shared healing and reparitve experience.
