I am gradually acquiring better language as I work to heal from things which (for lack of a more precise word) I previously identified as abuse. While abusive things were said and done by my family of origin and the man I married, the term abuse could be regarded as subjective– Deniable, debatable. However, trauma is not. Trauma (as I am utilizing it) refers only to how I have been impacted by a thing – how it left me compromised and struggling to function and recover.
A person inclined to challenge or debate another person’s emotional experience, is quite likely both an inflictor and a judger of trauma. Disputing the pain of another, is called gaslighting, which actually is a form of abuse.
Traumatic injury occurred. Repeatedly. I am working to let go of feeling a need to prove this. When I label the things abuse, it leaves me in pursuit of evidence: One- that I am justified in my pain and therefore worthy of comfort and connection. Two- that they contributed. Actively, passively, repeatedly.
