We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We
can separate another’s issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated. Taken from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go.
SAYing “GOODBYE!” TO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS BEHAVIOR: Being spoken to in ways that are meant to demean me is something, that as an adult, I have a choice about. This is a boundary I can not flex on. Recovery has taught me that by accepting shaming, bullying hostility, I am participating in my own abuse. Sadly, my mother and sister feel entitled to abuse me and so long as I have this boundary, there will be no contact, without the offer of something different and better, respectful. Anyone repeatedly and righteously speaking and behaving in ways intended to diminish or dominate me gets space. I model self-love for my children. Sadly, I might otherwise stay in the ring fighting for my rights and continuing participation in the dysfunction.
Recognizing the mental illness and untreated addiction that contributes to this dynamic, allows me to forgive my abusers but still does not make it wise or safe to return for more. The separation is slightly less painful than the abusive entanglement. I think that, to abusers, a boundary feels like a rejection of them. It is a rejection of abuse. If ever there is reason to expect something better, I am there. 100%. I show up for love! Big Open Heart. Big Fucken Fences—Forevvvuh
