Affiliations and Attachments
Because I was raised without healthy sustained connection with my care givers, I attempted to build an identity around attachments and affiliations- which would not ever satisfy my need for safe…
Kindness Is Not Conditional
In relationships, if it is conditional, it is not kind. I can think of nothing more confused and distorted than my early ideas about kindness and connection. I literally, for…
Or Else — Bring it
Oh, Like a lightning bolt- it struck me, again. How much, extremists of any sort can not "tolerate" peaceful protest or resistance. To them-- to not conform to the forced…
Be The Reason
Seems as if stonewalling and gaslighting are techniques intended to erase a person, to obliterate their spirit. Stonewalling is a tactic used by bullies to control a situation; to isolate,…
Mama
In their young efforts to address my George Floyd despair, my boys offered me this: "Mom, he did have meth in his system and had been previously arrested for armed…
What We Choose
My steady refusal of gifts and moments of staged harmony (in place of healing, repair, and honest connection) illuminated my unwillingness to bypass necessary mending. An offer to do the…
Torture
Torture (unlike abuse which is often spontaneous and unintentional, though still scarring) is pre-meditated and planned out. It is designed to methodically dismantle a person's identity and humanity, destroying a…
MY White Privilege
I was born to un-white skin, a foreign name, one Middle Eastern Moslem parent and the other an Agnostic Jew. Later, bussed across town to the "black school" for the…
Things I struggle with
All Special Days---Mother's Day reminded me of the last time I sat with my mother and sister. I have a framed picture from that dinner, which I would like to smash…
Twenty-five Things
Things I am good at: Losing my shit Apologizing Wasting time Getting difficult stuff done Struggling with simple things because of associated historical feelings Helping Receiving Help Self Reflection Asking…