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Stonewalling breaks me. I don’t bounce back from it. But I've repeatedly and predictably returned for more. Hopefully, for the last time. The silent treatment and banishment were the standard…
I’ve come to understand something about myself, and it’s both painful and clarifying: I gravitate toward people who use silence as a weapon. Stonewalling—cold, controlled, absolute silence—is a dynamic I…
To call my medical journey traumatic is an understatement. But honestly, just navigating a highly overstimulating planet often feels like trauma. So, I used to trust doctors implicitly—like-if one said…
I just sent this text to my boys and their father. I can’t help but worry about my older son—the only one showing up for me. I want to say…
Recently, during a hospital stay, I was sedated and vulnerable. At one point, I was physically handled with what felt like completely unnecessary force. I weigh just under 120 pounds…
Historically, my sister frequently would corner me and ask, “Are you okay?” But it wasn’t because she cared. It was because she was ready to go to battle—ready to dispute…
After my time in the ER, I had a distinct handmark around my throat, bruising which is still sore on my jaw and side of my head, the insides of…
This is a record of a day when I am beyond tired—tired in body, in mind, and in spirit. And if, someday, someone I love finds their way to these…
Rambling thoughts as I chase some clarity and peace with psilocybin microdosing: The only last name that ever truly felt like mine was the one I chose—Mills—on September 12, 2011.I’ve…
The Cycle Wins~ It has been deeply painful to not only have been judged from my earliest days, for my senstivity, my overwhelm, my limits, and that my existence has…
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