Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 9 of 32,000,000)
The Slow Fade: How Devaluation, Distancing, and Discard Unfolded
For the first five months, we spent an average of 30 hours a week together—during workdays, evenings, weekends. We never said goodbye without a plan our next visit. Our communication was constant, immediate, and deeply connected. We shared memes, recipes, vacation ideas, hiking trails, and songs that felt like the soundtrack to our love. He mirrored my interests so perfectly – proof of how in sync we were. If I brought something up, he responded with curiosity and enthusiasm, adding layers to our conversations. It felt natural, effortless—like real intimacy. I now understand this as mirroring, a technique that builds fast attachment by reflecting back everything I love, making me feel seen in a way that seemed magical.
Then, both suddenly and slowly, things changed. The specific, intentional initiatives and responses disappeared. No more Tumblrs, no more playlists, no more discussions about what we’d cook together or where we’d travel. His texts became so generic they could have been sent to anyone. He stopped planning ahead and looking forward. I was left to ask, When will I see you next? The consistency left me high from feeling so connected, cared for, chosen, prioritized, vaporized.
Letting go of him—without wasting energy attempting to explain myself, change him, or force a shared reality—was a huge step toward claiming dominion over my own life. Even on the heels of a week of vertigo and then battling COVID, and all that time spent in my head and in bed, I’ve been gifted something incredible: the ability to sleep. I’m currently averaging 7 hours a night, deep enough to reach the dream state, something I haven’t experienced since childhood. Feeling rested has shifted everything —it’s allowed me to focus, plan, choose, and do so much more than just survive- and maybe best of all, a rested mind is one which allows me to pause rather than just (over)react immediately to triggering people and situation. I could not have guessed that peace and clarity would be the what was immediately awating me on the other side of life without him.
