Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 4 of 32,000,000)
The Two Truths
I’m struggling to reconcile two truths. One truth is what I directly and consistently experienced: our time together was effortless, joyful, and deeply connected. We did not fight or argue, though we did not always agree. We shared adventures, laughter, navigating hardships, and what felt like genuine emotional intimacy. If you judged our relationship by our times together, it would appear an A+—fluid, fun, and safe, kind, caring. CRAZY in love, envisioning our beautiful future.
And then there’s the other truth: what I didn’t experience directly, but pieced together from mixed messaging and inconsistencies, hollow texts, and now the stories of these two other women, deeply distressed and pursuing him legally with charges of abuse and physical harm (which took place in August, when I sensed something was off and blocked him—because his insistence that – all was and would be well – was in direct conflict with my lived experience and my gut—but I was desperate to believe him). It was not possible to believe him and stay sane because he was gaslighting me and engaging two other women, apparently in ways which left them suicidal and in need of pressing charges. His betrayals weren’t directly observable; they were sensed, uncovered, and explained away. His deceptions are insidious—and for me, defy articulation.
I was left with one option: stop communication. Blocking him feels childish, but there’s nothing else to do but hold on to what’s left of myself and close that door.
I hate it, but it’s the truth. The best I can do is heal from all that groomed me for exactly this relationship, and then grieve the loss and do the work to recover. I was first crazy for him and now crazy from him. I do not mean to suggest that I was clearly not NOT crazy before we met.
I wish it weren’t true. I wish it made sense. I wished it hurt less.
Disclaimer: I am sharing my personal experience exactly as I recall it. This is my truth, my story, and my perspective~ to document what I lived through.
