Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 5 of 32,000,000)
Denial
I could not see it.
I wouldn’t believe it, no matter how many times friends begged me to look and listen. They saw the signs as glaring, in only the details I readily shared with them. I just couldn’t recognize what was happening. All I knew was that I loved him and felt loved in his presence. Loved, spoiled, seen, chosen.
Even when the devaluation started. Even when I felt myself grasping for his attention, for his validation, for our original way of engaging. I believed in what we had – that it was real and profound. Legit, on many occasions over those months, laughing joyfully, I was exclaiming, “I literally think we have invented the greatest love ever, THIS has never been done before.”
Looking back, I recall the chill —the moment cool distance and mixed messaging replaced love bombing. More time between responses and initiatives. Less present and engaging communication in texts. Almost like courtesy responses, obligatory, detached. no longer a steady rally. Previously, all of it was expansive— effortless, shared rhythm- FLOW. Then… constriction. The energy changed. Where there was once unending enthusiasm and warmth, now there was hesitation—something muted, measured, fading.
The Devaluation & the Desperation to Hold On
Once I felt that high, for months on end, I was hooked–addicted, desperate to get it back.
When the devaluation began and he started pulling away, he graciously and REPEATEDLY showered me with gorgeous words of assurance. The mixed messaging compounded my anxiety. I scrambled and held on tighter. I attempted to get smaller, quieter, easier. I ignored red flags. I discounted myself.
I begged myself to believe and rely on his beautiful soothing words, though they differed from his energy and actions. If I could just be less needy, less pawing, just less, he would burn for me again. He would return as the man who once couldn’t get enough of me—the version of himself he had shown me, the one who stole my heart.
But that version of him was gone- never real.
Disclaimer: I am sharing my personal experience exactly as I recall it. This is my truth, my story, and my perspective~ to document what I lived through.
