He’s always needed a woman with more.
More money, more shine, more spine.
He likes the kind with a backbone
as long as it’s used to lift him.
Strong is great,
as long as it prioritizes him,
elevates him,
makes him look like more.
The moment it stands for her,
without him at the center,
it’s a threat….time to diminish and devalue, take her down a notch
First, his sisters. Then me.
Now her.
Tall like me. Thin like me.
And with more capital.
I had MUCH before, too—before him.
After?
I was left with less than half of what I entered.
He doesn’t change. He shape shifts.
Adapting to the next host/supply
Takes. Building himself up with borrowed light.
He voted for Obama. Twice.
Because I did.
Then voted for Trump.
Because she did.
No one with a shred of integrity does both.
But he doesn’t vote from belief.
He votes from alignment—
whatever his supply believes, that’s his new truth.
What propels him.
He commits only to what serves him
what launches him forward
on someone else’s energy.
Every time.
I remember the reach. The way she presented herslef to me.
Not open. Not soft.
Something colder. Sharper.
Performance, maybe.
Like she needed to win something I wasn’t playing for.
I said I’m here if it heals.
She wasn’t.
I cant help but wonder if she feels the blur.
The vagueness.
The flickers of unease when the story shifts
but she’s too far in to say wait, that doesn’t line up.
He keeps people guessing—
when the boys will be here
when the money will come
when the tone will turn.
It’s not chaos. It’s currency.
Control always is.
He subtly insured division of me from his sisters, and then my own. It would have happened naturally, but he made sure of it.
From my mother, who rescued me heroically in financial ways- when he witheld support.
And I wonder if she’s kept apart too.
If he spins her just enough to keep her from noticing
that she’s in a pattern that didn’t start with her.
There’s always a villain – in time it will need to be her.
📚 Recommended Reading for Understanding and Healing
These books have been instrumental in helping many understand and recover from the dynamics of narcissistic relationships:
- Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship: A Caretaker’s Guide to Recovery, Empowerment, and Transformation by Margalis Fjelstad
Offers insights into the motivations of narcissists and guidance for caretakers to reclaim their lives. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: The Complete Guide to Recover From Emotional Abuse, Identify Narcissists, and Overcome Abusive Relationships by Linda Hill
A comprehensive guide to recognizing narcissistic behaviors and steps to recovery. - Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD (4 Books in 1)
An in-depth exploration of the intertwined issues of narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD, offering strategies for healing.
These resources are invaluable for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of narcissistic relationships and embark on a path to healing.
