My Sister, The Dynamic, and the Setup
Historically, my sister frequently would corner me and ask, “Are you okay?” But it wasn’t because she cared. It was because she was ready to go to battle—ready to dispute…
Similar bruising around my neck, jaw, inner thighs and arms, but the bruisng to my hip is still vivid after more than 10 days
What Happens When You Ask for Help
After my time in the ER, I had a distinct handmark around my throat, bruising which is still sore on my jaw and side of my head, the insides of…
What I Won’t Miss
This is a record of a day when I am beyond tired—tired in body, in mind, and in spirit. And if, someday, someone I love finds their way to these…
May 5 – On the Beach
Rambling thoughts as I chase some clarity and peace with psilocybin microdosing: The only last name that ever truly felt like mine was the one I chose—Mills—on September 12, 2011.I’ve…
A stark truth rendered in words—how narcissistic abuse isolates the scapegoat child.
It Has Broken Me
The Cycle Wins~ It has been deeply painful to not only have been judged from my earliest days, for my senstivity, my overwhelm, my limits, and that my existence has…
When pain hits and no one is there to hold you—living with chronic pain, anxiety, and the weight of being unsupported.
The Pain from the Pain
Today, my back hurts—badly. But the pain itself is only the beginning. Almost immediately, I feel panic. That’s my second skin, my automatic response to discomfort: fear. Not just fear…
The Matthew Effect
“For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance.But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” This…
Triangulation, Alienation, Gaslighting Children
THERAPIST: So you’re upset that your mom pointed out missed chores and unmet expectations — even after a few consistent weeks of you doing them without reminders? SON: Yeah. I did them…
Living With Trauma and Overwhelm
Growing up highly sensitive and neurodivergent, I wasn’t seen as struggling — I was seen as willful and defiant, seeking control and attention with my needs. Survival meant submission — something…
The Agonizing Cycle of Stonewalling
The Cycle: In these relationships (my mom, sister, ex-husband, Younger son), there’s a deep avoidance of vulnerability. Struggling, being hurt, needing something — these are seen as weaknesses, something shameful.…