July 4
In my family of origin and then later my mirror image marriage, assertive direct voicing of my own need, preference, or boundary was met with either dismissal, (like as if…
YOU ARE THE ONLY PROBLEM!!!
I am working to change learned & damaging behaviors and reactions for which I am always apologizing. The work part means healing my wounds, which requires intentional examination, understanding them(with…
Things Learned
So it seems like juuuuusssst maybe the key to living a peaceful and meaningful existence- is in learning how to recover from difficult people, events, experiences, and feelings…AND not in…
Blind Spots- We All Have Them
I cannot change my past, but I can allow myself to be changed by it. In recovery, self-reflection and growth, for me, have each become motivators and sources of attraction…
Circling The Drain
The message was consistent, from my family of origin and in my marriage--that my experiences, needs, desires, concerns were invalid, inadmissible, troublesome. When (99.9% of the time) my needs or…
Just Another List
Qualities which I treasure, not like I am compelled to get to know or call a person a friend, or enter into a relationship, just a deep respect and appreciation…
Unfit
Any form of antihistamine, the smallest dose results, for me, in emotionally violent nightmares. Even antihistamine eye drops, which seems unreasonable, since they are not ingested, dammit. Desperate for relief…
Goals
When I mentioned to Sweet Greg last weekend how uncomfortable I am with the 25 extra pounds I have been carrying for the last 4 years. He said: “When you…
Why I Did IT
Why I Did IT Why did I marry a man who made me feel unsafe, unlovable, unworthy of comfort or acknowledgment? Because it was the kind of love I was…
The Non-Redeemable
As I watch and try to untangle and make sense of what is happening, I see how those who need to feel admired will frequently and relentlessly cast a person…
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