9.11
September 11….What a heartbreak of a day. Immeasurable loss, fear and grief. I recall watching the news, alone, in tears, from my home in CA, as I was getting ready for work. Crying…
Covid and the Narcissist
While I absolutely do not want another Pandemic shut down, I do experience some smug schadenfreude feelings about what THE SHUT DOWN does to narcissistic types. Particularly those who refuse to…
Proud and Protected
There was not a single moment with family or my husband type person- the person who went after all my shit--with endorsements by my female sibling (it literally makes me…
Hard To Love
I feel constantly curious as to what my sister could have communicated to THE family to make them ALL (but three) literally ghost me. I was not close with any of…
Thoughtful Cruelty
I obssess reflect regularly on how my reactions to trauma: insecurity, shame, and depression were treated harshly, by the people on whom I counted most. I was openly and collectively…
Artificial Indifference
Artificial Indifference---Finally, a word to name the thing which was sought, feigned, and revered, in my family and then an equally fucked up marriage. I observe with sadness, my younger…
Today v. Yesterday
If I choose to confront something currenlty taking place, which I percieve as worthy of addressing-- and a person attempts to shut me down or divert attention to something from…
Fuck yoooooooooooooooo
My older son loves loves loves mountain bike riding (introduced to him and supported consistently by Sweet Greg for more than 5 years). He has gained almost 6 inches in…
Clearly
Me: Pulls into second of two gas tanks at Costco. Gets out of car and walks to pump as car at first tank pulls away. Lady Woman behind me in her shiny Black Lexus…
I forgive myself.
PTSD and Insanity
My recognition of my own trauma helps me to see how my reactions served well as proof of insanity and lack of credibility--for those who needed me to be seen…
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