But Why Though

6:45 a.m.-  It doesn't even mater why... I woke to crushing anxiety this morning, as I do most, overwhelming, free-floating anxiety tied to nothing in particular and everything all at…

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Six Things

Frankly, little mattered to me before motherhood. Life has has never, NOT felt incredibly difficult and unnatural for me.  Having sensory issues is difficult. Even the smell and feel of…

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When Bad Things Happen to Good People

I have been finding healing and comfort in re-reading and listening to When Bad Things Happen to Good People( a book I first borrowed from my mother, after my father's…

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What is Love?

About 5 years ago, still living in Los Angeles, while driving down 91, we passed a billboard that said I love Compton.  Puzzled, my boys were like “Why would anybody love Compton? ” They had been there a few times for doctors appointments, during our harder times and at times, for my work.  They knew it to be run down, scary-ish.  Many homeless people and loose dogs in need.  That question was such a blessing and opening to a profound conversation.  I surprised myself by being able able to explain to them the difference between liking a person, place, or thing and loving it.  I explained how sometimes we do not like each other one bit, but we always want what is best for each other and value working towards the best possible outcome. That this billboard is paid for by a group of people committed to elevating the quality of life for all people in this struggling community.  Love is a verb and often has little to do with our feelings and more to do with our values.  Love is honest, and kind–it is a way of being in the world.  Some people LOVE tacos or burgers and fast cars.  While we might enjoy these things, we love and care for people, places, and things because it is right and it is our purpose.  Some people run around HATING snakes, bugs, and broccoli.  But we do not hate, maybe just do not prefer.  We do not wish ill on them or need to destroy them.  We hate unkindness and dishonesty.  And yet we can love others(maybe from a safe distance) who behave in these ways.  We belong to each other.  All of us.  Everyone and all living things deserve to have their most basic needs met.  To get in the way of that is spiteful unloving. (more…)

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