Author: Magda Gee

This author has written 570 articles

Trojan Horses

So, when I visited NC 9 years ago for therapy session with mother and sister which went poorly and in which I miscarried, I, for obvious reasons, felt unable to rally for Trick or Treat neighborhood parade with my sister and her family.   I required time and space to rest and grieve the tragedy of that session, my family, and the loss of a pregnancy–while nursing and caring for my baby. (more…)

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Narcissist Be Like

My sons and I ♥luuuuv us some Pink Panther.  It never stops being hysterically funny.  We literally roar and do that thing where we punch each other’s arms for every ridiculous thing and then we rewind and replay certain parts repeatedly. Pink Panther is clever sneaky and selfish AF and somehow seemingly innocent and totally lovable. Our favorite episode is Blue Print.  Anyway, I created this meme because it is a perfect metaphor for my attempt at a clear and direct boundary with my FOO– ME building a door (NOT a wall) out of necessity and having it removed, via my sister’s triangulation with my ex. My stipulation for spending time together was that we address serious issues, not only for ourselves, but to spare my young children from the decades worth of white knuckle tension and eggshells.

The culture in which righteously voicing sentiments of judgment, shaming, weird gifting, and awkward flattering, with laser focused dedication to squashing opportunities for atoning or amending– is not what I choose to have modeled for them.  In relocating to this side of the country, I knew and accepted the risk,mother was sick and having grandsons and daughter close by to help and to be present for a fight for life seemed spiritually right.  So, I was either a courageous and faithful badass or a serious dumbass.   (more…)

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Thanksgiving with Family-More Spooky than Halloween–More Tricky than Treaty

I realize it is only halloween and I am already thinking Thanksgiving thoughts.  Getting out into the future consistently brings me down.  And, off I go.  My boys are enjoying plans with good wholesome family friends tonight and for that I am over the moon.  For me Thanksgiving will happen in the home of my best friend.  My boys are with their father this year for Thanksgiving and it would be silly to think they will go anywhere but with my sister and mother, with whom I have NO CONTACT.  From the day we met ( my boys’ father and me) everything that was mine became ours and everything that was his remained exclusively his.  My bank accounts, benefits, house, house downpayment, personal email, credit cards, friends, everything-shifted from mine to ours–and nobody forced me, it is what I learned, how to sustain illusion of cohesion avoid banishment.   (more…)

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