The messages from my family of origin were unmistakable: “We will not show empathy or understanding for your perspective. In response to what we perceive…
Author: Magda Gee
I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.
It’s painful to recall being scolded in shaming ways during overwhelming moments: “Why are you so angry? Why are you so defensive? Why are you…
I am gradually acquiring better language as I work to heal from things which (for lack of a more precise word) I previously identified as…
The culmination of sleep deprivation, chronic pain, C- PTSD , sensory overload (when in the presence of most others) can fuck heavily with my resilience…
Today, in rush hour traffic, I trekked uptown for a medical appointment. As an anxious and easily overwhelmed person, with a poor sense of direction,…
Ugh, another day to grieve. Not grief that I have sons, but who they get to see me as. I wish they could have known…
What my healing looks like: I get dysregulated and lose my shit – saying reactive and escalating things—and behaving badly. And then: I apologize and…
The irreparable damage of having actively engaged my children in schemes of parental alienation and betrayal of their mother, is not a thing, we as…
I needed something from the world (which in formative years- meant my mother whom I counted on to soothe and support me) which I did not know how to…
Today, my therapist asked why my sister or the boys’ father might want to undermine me and damage my credibility. The simple answer is that…