Before Recovery
Without recovery, I would still possess only the tools and beliefs of dysfunction; a fixed mindset with a Zero-sum mentality-- all conflicts resulting in a winner and a loser. Winning…
September 7
The deep seated angst of hoping and begging for peace and resolution- was relieved on the day which I received notice, by a lady whom I barely know, of my…
Introverting
To be introverted means that I prefer solitude and derive energy from quiet time, alone. I don’t completely hate socializing, but it is often too much for me and reuires…
uniformity v. solidarity
"You are either in agreement with (like) us or against us." That mentality is the ancestral curse and cycle which I strive to crush, one day at a time. My…
Pain
My grandmother visited my childhood home a few times a year and I alllllwaaaays looked forward to her arrival. She was radiant, popular, and very important. On rare occasions in…
What is Schadenfreude?
Though I am intimately familiar with the energy and attitudes which I have always identified in the “serves you right- types”, I have only just now discovered the term Schadenfreude. I…
Affiliations and Attachments
Because I was raised without healthy sustained connection with my care givers, I attempted to build an identity around attachments and affiliations- which would not ever satisfy my need for safe…
Kindness Is Not Conditional
In relationships, if it is conditional, it is not kind. I can think of nothing more confused and distorted than my early ideas about kindness and connection. I literally, for…
Or Else — Bring it
Oh, Like a lightning bolt- it struck me, again. How much, extremists of any sort can not "tolerate" peaceful protest or resistance. To them-- to not conform to the forced…
Be The Reason
Seems as if stonewalling and gaslighting are techniques intended to erase a person, to obliterate their spirit. Stonewalling is a tactic used by bullies to control a situation; to isolate,…
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