Happy? Birthday

giftHello Friends,  Last month, my Darling stumped me with “So…what do you want for your birthday?”.

In a tone suggesting, “Please don’t make me think about it.”, my knee-jerk response was “I don’t know”.

Asked by some, “What do you want for your birthday?”, I might say:  “Nothing, really”, name something they’d enjoy getting me, OR roll the dice and share the truth-and wind up with a “gift” indicative of not being heard or valued. (more…)

Continue ReadingHappy? Birthday

Greasy Hair and Furry Legs

For so long, I might only shave my legs or wear good undies, outfit, or make up if I were to be seen by “someone good”.  Sad but true.  Now, I choose these things for me, for my own self-care.  Self care is unnatural for me.  So much easier to neglect myself.   I’m no longer motivated by the opinions of those once who wish to hand down their judgment or favor. Big News—the judgers do not have what I need. Their opinions are not my business and I need not turn to them to see where I stand.  I don’t need permission to take good care of myself and I don’t do it at them. I have learned to do it because it is responsible and satisfying. I am amused by my bragging of allowing my hairS to become greasy, my legs to go from prickly- to furry, to those who need to judge.

I recognize that there are times for which evidence of artful makeup, grooming, and outfitting are called.  Times where they are desired.  AND Times in which it is totally unnecessary to concern myself.  My worthiness is real, no matter. And my self-esteem tells me so. (more…)

Continue ReadingGreasy Hair and Furry Legs

Finding My Voice-and my lil pink axe


While striving to honor the authentic voice of who I am,  I have realized a profound  lack of vision for my life…no goals, other than to just hurt less…to feel and cause less pain.  In my family of origin and marriage, my pain was categorized for me in one of three ways:

  • pain I caused
  • pain I deserved
  • pain I imagined

For each of which, comfort was unavailable. (more…)

Continue ReadingFinding My Voice-and my lil pink axe

Unlearning-One Day at a Time

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-8-50-52-pmIn my life I can’t help but marvel at the grim, if not blind determination to force people places and things to BE different from how Wrecking Ballthey are.  This behavior is typically paired with barely contained rage or smugness, dependent on the outcome.

This influence did not springboard me into a state of wholesome badassery,  Overly receptive to sensory stimulus and the emotional energy of others, highly strung, I have been mostly scared shitless and very reactive. 

WBA is my journal of expansion beyond what I have “known”, now living intentionally with NEW, kinder, gentler ways of being in the world.   With the close and constant proximity to Trusted Others I am re-parenting myself, growing into a spiritually mature woman. (more…)

Continue ReadingUnlearning-One Day at a Time