Are You Effing Insane?
People inquire: “Aren’t you afraid people will think you’re angry, impossible, and insane?” And the truth is many people have thought that about me, and for years I was those things from having not learned how to navigate such trouble waters. My family relied on me reacting poorly to abuse, with insanity, so they 
could justify being abusive. Even if I am, does that make it ok to destroy my co-parenting relationship and to alienate my children? I do not think so. Now that I do not scream, swear, or threaten in response to being bullied, they are left only with their own behavior to contemplate…if they were capable or willing. I stopped offering the gift of distraction with my outrageous reactions, years ago. I learned to say No. Period. It was the beginning of the end. (more…)
temptation to react to degrading comments is immense. The boys’ dad just came with his sister to pick up our children, and I asked if the schedule for our Tuesday dinner visit had been changed. When he answered yes. I said “No problem, in the future, can you let me know when you make plans for them on my scheduled time?”. Verfuckenbatim! PS-this is the second request of this nature in the last 2 weeks. I will continue asking nicely. I won’t fight about it and I will not pretend for a moment, that it is acceptable.
And his sister sneered and said in front of our boys “on and on she goes” …going on about what, requesting pertinent information and respect for our legal agreement, and serenity for myself and my boys? Yes, L, I do…and I will continue to request it no matter how you object. So grateful for enough recovery to have only, quietly uttered. while closing the door–“Your behavior is impressive” Mostly because I know she beleives she is impressive for reasons of which I remain unaware. Kindness and benevolence are the most impressive things. by this measure, I have not been impressed in the way in which may be desire. The perpetual triangulation is impressive, just not in appositive way.